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General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: tapakeg on October 10, 2003, 06:33:05 PM

Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: tapakeg on October 10, 2003, 06:33:05 PM
For all u bar hounds out there (http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-02/01_02_booze_rules.htm)



So true,  oh so true.


Tapakeg
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Ripsnort on October 10, 2003, 06:47:37 PM
You forgot "Speaking of addictions..." ;) (see Rush thread)
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 11, 2003, 02:19:02 PM
Tapakeg, thx, that was a hoot.  I agree with about 95% of those.  :)
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Mini D on October 11, 2003, 02:46:50 PM
This one must have stung funkypants:
Quote
20.   Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Raubvogel on October 11, 2003, 06:05:10 PM
Heh, this is my favorite.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.


I used to do this quite often. My friends would ask me where I went the next day and I usually had no idea. :)
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: mietla on October 11, 2003, 06:12:16 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Raubvogel


...You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand...  


Sometimes you misteriously appear on a fence... :)
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 11, 2003, 06:55:29 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Raubvogel
Heh, this is my favorite.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.


I used to do this quite often. My friends would ask me where I went the next day and I usually had no idea. :)


Dude, you did this at the 02 Con.

Some of the best stories come after people disappear.  Sometimes they hook up with a female.  Sometimes they pass out somewhere.  Sometimes you have to bail them out of jail.

One time we had a guy go missing.  He had gone out to our friend's car to get something and passed out.  When he woke up he couldn't figure out how to get out of the car.  He had some kind of drunken claustrophobic tantrum and wrecked the inside of the car.  Broke off the control stalks, the rear view mirror, interior trim.  He pulled the parking brake and the car rolled out into the street, then he passed out again.  The owner comes out, also completely wrecked, to get in his car to leave, and the cops roll up and see the car in the street.  They had a lot of 'splainin' to do.

Another time we are walking back from some RR tracks in one of those overgrown San Diego canyons, where we used to sit and watch the trains, and we realize we are missing a guy.  We can hear him yelling but we can't see him.  We see his lighter and the bottle of Beam he was carrying.  Then we hear him yelling louder.  We push through some bushes and almost fall into a 10 foot deep ditch, the remnant of some old construction.  In the dark we had walked right by it without seeing it, and the drunk SOB fell in.  Luckily he was only dirty, not hurt, and we had some laughs after we pulled him out.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 11, 2003, 06:57:32 PM
Quote
Originally posted by mietla
Sometimes you misteriously appear on a fence... :)


I shoulda taken pictures of Animal.  It was a "Cops" moment.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: mietla on October 11, 2003, 07:08:25 PM
The location of "appearence" does not scare me that much, but the company in which you "appear" may?
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Animal on October 11, 2003, 07:19:25 PM
I will deny everything!
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: mietla on October 11, 2003, 07:53:16 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Animal
I will deny everything!


Take it easy Animal. I was there to the very end, remember? Luckily for me, I "appeared" (for some reason naked) in my own bed, so I have no story to tell, but still.. that does not mean that there is no story to be told :D
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: davidpt40 on October 11, 2003, 08:41:08 PM
Quote
Heh, this is my favorite.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.


I used to do this quite often. My friends would ask me where I went the next day and I usually had no idea.



And strangely enough, Raubvogel wife gets mysterious bruises on her face and upper body when Raub disappears for a night of drinking.  "She fell down the steps" Raub says as he rubs his knuckles.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: mietla on October 11, 2003, 08:56:06 PM
Quote
Originally posted by davidpt40
And strangely enough, Raubvogel wife gets mysterious bruises on her face and upper body when Raub disappears for a night of drinking.  "She fell down the steps" Raub says as he rubs his knuckles.


You know what?

This was just plain stupid and nasty. I think you owe someone an apology.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Nash on October 11, 2003, 11:41:52 PM
Quote
Originally posted by FUNKED1
One time we had a guy go missing....


Had a friend who decided to walk home from a party through a nasty snowstorm. He was just wrecked. The next day he's telling us this hilarious story about how he woke up in an unfamiliar basement. Turns out he walked into a house belonging to complete strangers who had left their front door open and passed out.

The next morning he sneaks upstairs and peers around the corner... some middle-aged guy is watching football on tv, the wife is making breakfast. This idiot actually left his shoes by the back door, and had hung up his coat in the laundry room on the other side of the house. Said it took him over two hours to get his stuff and sneak back out of the house undetected.

Good post tapakeg. Those rules look right to me. Funked - which 4.3 of those rules do ya break? ;)
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Dinger on October 12, 2003, 12:03:46 AM
My little brother was celebrating new years in Livergulch a few years ago.  Things get a little nutty, and around 1 AM, he's feeling unwell.  His SOP in such a case is to go for a walk, so he remembers walking out the door of the house.
   At 4:30 he wakes up on a couch with a dog lapping up his "digestive indiscretion".  He hears a voice say, "Man, what time is it?".  He doesn't recognize his surroundings.
So he gets up, leaves the house, figures out roughly where he is and walks the four miles back to the party.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 12, 2003, 04:20:16 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Nash
Funked - which 4.3 of those rules do ya break? ;)


21  Mine aren't.
27  I refuse.
65  Not my cup of tea.
22  Heckling crappers is good sport.

The 0.3 is rule 7.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Nash on October 12, 2003, 06:57:48 AM
Ha. Nicely answered.:)
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 12, 2003, 03:28:25 PM
To give you an example on rule 21, at the USGP this year, we got my dad so drunk that he walked into a ladies room by mistake.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 12, 2003, 03:29:43 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Mini D
This one must have stung funkypants:


How else are you going to get girlydrinkdrunk?
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: SOB on October 12, 2003, 03:31:46 PM
Quote
Originally posted by davidpt40
And strangely enough, Raubvogel wife gets mysterious bruises on her face and upper body when Raub disappears for a night of drinking.  "She fell down the steps" Raub says as he rubs his knuckles.


What?  I'm not sure if that was meant to be funny or just plain dumb.  Regardless, it was just plain dumb.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: moose on October 12, 2003, 04:42:21 PM
#71 reminds me of Udie at the 02 con :)

Cept that we saw who he disappeared with...
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Dinger on October 12, 2003, 07:13:04 PM
Gee Funked, the martini's pretty easy to do even for you.

1) put a shaker, a martini glass and a bottle of vodka in a freezer for a long time.

2) put four shots of vodka in the shaker, with a little ice

3) call up a friend on the East coast, and ask them to take their bottle of dry vermouth out and hold it to the telephone.

4) hold telephone to shaker for 5 seconds

5) shake mixture

6) serve in glass with olives.

That's simple.  Oh yeah, that's right, you prefer silly sweet drinks.


I'm with you on 27
39's a little tough though.  Maybe on the coasts.   Here, beer is still cheap.  My rule is "if your tip includes coins, tip at least 30% the bill, and never tip more than a dollar in coins".
81 is also a misconception.  Alcohol in the blood makes a stink.  You can smell those aldehydes.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: capt. apathy on October 12, 2003, 10:01:43 PM
Quote
And strangely enough, Raubvogel wife gets mysterious bruises on her face and upper body when Raub disappears for a night of drinking. "She fell down the steps" Raub says as he rubs his knuckles.


wow, not a very funny joke.  thats a serrious allegation, even if it was said jokingly most guys would beat your prettythang if you said it while within reach.  :(
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: FUNKED1 on October 12, 2003, 10:12:38 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Dinger
Gee Funked, the martini's pretty easy to do even for you.

1) put a shaker, a martini glass and a bottle of vodka in a freezer for a long time.

2) put four shots of vodka in the shaker, with a little ice

3) call up a friend on the East coast, and ask them to take their bottle of dry vermouth out and hold it to the telephone.

4) hold telephone to shaker for 5 seconds

5) shake mixture

6) serve in glass with olives.

That's simple.  Oh yeah, that's right, you prefer silly sweet drinks.


I didn't say I couldn't make them, I said I didn't like them.  So I won't waste any time making them.
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: Leslie on October 13, 2003, 04:01:25 AM
I thought the link there about absinth was very interesting.  Does anyone here know anything about it?  Or tried it?

Dang stuff sounds powerful.  Only bohemians drink it, and you know how they are.  I remember hearing it was illegal in the US (and some other countries.)  Pernot looks and tastes similar, from what I've heard.  It is not absinth, but mimicks it in physical characteristics only and not effect.  If you're gonna drink "the green fairy," it better be good, or your red neck buddies might become sore.

Interesting web site Tapakeg.  One of these days, when I have the dough, I'm gonna order a bottle of that stuff just to try it.




Les
Title: Some funny rules for all you drinkers out there
Post by: mora on October 13, 2003, 05:36:57 AM
Absinth is available in most countries, but usually it doesn't contain enough tujon or wormwood(main herb ingredients) to give you any notable special effects.

However it's available in some countries in the original effective form. You can also buy absinth kits online. I've never tasted the real thing.