Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: GtoRA2 on October 23, 2003, 11:46:22 AM
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I put 12 cod in a girls car once. I had to break into her house to do it...
I felt bad about it, so I checked to make sure she got them all when she cleaned it. She missed the one in her roller blade. :):D
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When I was in grammer school I sharpened my pencil one day to a fine point. The guy in front of me (Michael Mello...never forget his name) got up to sharpen his. When he returned to his chair I placed my pencil, point up, on his chair and held it there until he sat down.
He STILL has the piece of pencil lead in his backside.
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Curv
I got that beat.
I am in grade school and sitting in science class. The teacher is not in class for some reason.
I have a very sharp pencil, and the guy next to me loves to head but the table, and hard. I think he thought it made the chicks dig him, but bathing more would have done a better job.
Right after he did it two times I stuck the pencil in front of him and said "do it now" and well... He did!
LOL he did not even look. WAM! pencil brakes off in his head and he looks at me in shock, then a few seconds later blood starts to pour down his face and he lets out a wail.
The whole class is screaming at me "What did you do to him!"
So I take him to the ofice and get the nurse. She asks what happend so I tell her. The guy screams "he stabbed me!"
Lucky the last bell of the day rang and I took off. I never got in trouble for it.
So like 15 years later I am working at UMAX, the scanner company as one of the supervisors. I walk past one of the conference rooms and see this guy who looks JUST like the guy above. So after the interview I ask his name and it WAS him!
He still had a little gray scar and still remembered the event!
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LOL CURVAL with that story it makes your Avater have some importance. Its like i can almost see him doing it!
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I was at an airshow several years ago and a local scale model club had set up a display in one of the hangars. There were a lot of prize-winning models set up - guys that really knew what they were doing and had the tools and talent to produce some first-rate stuff.
Farther down the tables was a collection of 1/48 scale Revell/Monogram WW2 kits, the kind I used to build as a kid, that looked like they'd been done with a can of paint and a 1/2" house paint brush. ID paint stripes that were supposed to be square, weren't. Seams that were supposed to be flush, weren't. Gaps where the canopy met the fuselage. That sort of thing. As I looked at it, I smiled because, to me, that's what modeling is all about. Its about enjoying the hobby, about building the kit and if you mess up, oh well, just keep going and see how it turns out. You don't have to be perfect.
So I'm standing there examining a green A6M with a big smile on my face and off to the side I can see an older gentlemen looking at me, frowning, like I had just insulted his wife or something. I didn't think much about it until after the show when I realized that he was probably the guy that built the kits and was thinking that I was laughing at him. I felt bad about it and went back the next day to see if he was there so I could talk to him, but he wasn't there - he had been so insulted that he had packed up his stuff and left.
Another incident: I was in a grocery store a couple of Sundays ago and an older lady was there giving out samples of a salad. She offered me a cup of it and I said "I'm not much of a salad person." but what she heard was "... not much of a salad...". I had already turned my back and was walking away but I could tell she was miffed about something because she said "Not much of a salad!". By the time I realized what had happened, it was too late to clear it up as she was already helping another customer.
Then, a couple nights ago, I was engaged in dogfights in a 109G6 with gondolas near a Knight base. The fighting was low and in a bunch of valleys. I had just finished knocking down an enemy when I climbed up over a ridge and found myself right in line with the airbase landing pattern. A Knight Spitfire saw me coming and swerved out of the way, but the P-51D rolling down the runway wasn't so fortunate. I drilled him with cannon rounds and his wings fell off. The pilot got on Channel One and started talking about how cheap I was for shooting a wounded 51D coasting down the runway. I wasn't overly concerned about it though. His Spit IX wingman should've been covering him.
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When I was in the Navy I had an insufferable room mate for a while. So I used to jerk off a jizz in his hair conditioner. Never before was revenge so fun!
-Sik
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Conditioner?
What kinda man uses that stuff?
LOL very nasty though.
When I was a kid, like 8, I took a leak on my sisters tooth brush...:aok
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When I was growing up there was this kid who lived next door and would always pick on me and do things that were very annoying. He was couple of years older than I was. I laugh at it now but back then it would upset me very much. Like when we got off of the bus and I was walking to my front door he liked to throw a football at me and it would always hit me in the head, he was a hell of an athlete.
Over the years, from about the ages of 8 - 11 this went on and it got to the point where I would actually pray to God that something would happen to him to bring me justice for his, uh, misdeeds. I would do this on a regular basis and I wasn't even a religious kid at all, I just thought that if God was watching I deserved some kind of vengeance.
A couple of years later he died violently in a really nasty car accident with his mother, who was also a good friend of my parents. I never have really gotten over that. He was a little **** but he was a good guy and very smart, very bright (was planning on being a neurosurgeon). I still think about that to this day. Kharma's a mother f'er, you know?
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jeez thats nasty.
I had a blind date this past friday and made the woman cry...snot bubbles and all.
She liked me waaaay more then I liked her and told her that.
not one of my better moments
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Originally posted by Dnil
jeez thats nasty.
I had a blind date this past friday and made the woman cry...snot bubbles and all.
She liked me waaaay more then I liked her and told her that.
not one of my better moments
One night blind date and she's head over heels in love with you? What are you? Ron Jeremy's twin brother? :lol
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no but i did stay at a holiday inn
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Originally posted by Dnil
no but i did stay at a holiday inn
:rofl :rofl :aok Funny one Jeff :D
When I was 10 years old I did something that I still feel guilty over today. A family from Norway moved on to my block that summer. They had 2 sons, Johan and Inglebert. Johan was my age and his brother was a year younger. They were really nice kids and we used to play smeer the queer and stuff. Their mom always had coolaid and stuff ready for us too, a truely nice family. Well one day I was wearing my cowboy boots, the pointy kind. All of a sudden I got the strong urge to kick Johan in the shin, to this day I still don't know why I did. But I kicked him as hard as I could with those boots.
He started screaming bloody murder right away, which made me realize what an stunninghunk I had just been. I started crying too and was apologizing vigorously. He forgave me and we were friends until I moved. The bad part about this story is that here we are about 25 years later and I still tear up when I think about that. I really can be a jerk sometimes.
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Pissed on my roomates toothbrush.
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see a lot of body fluid stuff.....eeeew.
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I was sorta a bully in first grade, always picking on the other kids. One day I decided I didnt want to be like that and reformed overnight. So 2 weeks later not having called anyone names or pushed or hit anyone. We were standing in line to go somewhere, This girl in front and the girl in front of her start pushing. The girl in front pushes the one in front of me and she falls on her arse and starts screaming like any 1st grader. The teacher comes up "Pooh go to the office!!! Call your mom and have her pick you up!" "Im innocent this time I protest" Teacher doesnt care, Im gonna get spanked when I get home for no good reson, so I say "So Im going to the office for pushing someone I didnt push? And gonna get in trouble for no reason" Teacher says yes, so I turn around and sock the poor kid behind me whos minding his own business. "Ok now I did something and am going to the office" Was funny then but feel bad about it now.
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About 4th grade, living in Maplewood N.J. my buddy and I were checking out the snow and hanging out. I got the not so bright idea to toss a snow ball at a car going down a rather steep hill.
Smack!! nice high toss landed right on the windshield, car slams on the brakes and slides out of control into tree. Holy crap Batman run, driver gets out and starts to chase us but its our AO and we know all the places to run and we ditch him. Run home and stay inside for the rest of the week in complete fear. Later checked out tree, big crunch, this was in 1970 or 71 so cars were built tuff, but man felt bad about that for a long time.
By the way if this was one of you guys, It never really happened, and my friend is the one who did'ent do it.:(
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Okay....
I had girl named Kim that I dated in highschool that called me up a few years after we both graduated and had moved away. She said she was coming to visit a relative about an hour away from where I lived, and asked if I wanted to drive over and meet her. The conversation turned sexual, and it became readily apparent that this was a booty call. She asked if I could get a hotel reservation for us and I did.
Well, I go to pick her up, and what had once been this lovely young vixen was now a walking, talking beanbag. She had put on at least 60 pounds. She ran up and put me in a crushing bearhug and said she was so happy to see me, that it had been too long, and that she couldn't wait to get to the hotel so we could get to business, yadda yadda yadda.
So I'm panicking, trying to figure out how I am going to not have to sleep with this woman. We go to the hotel, check in, and go to our room. I can't even set the keys down before she's on top me. I ask if she wouldn't like to go out to dinner first. "You're all I want to eat" she says. I groan in despair. She mistakes it for ecstacy.
Then, inspiration struck. I said I need some ice water and extricated myself from her grasp. I lunged for the icebucket, snatched it up, and then sprinted for the door. By the time I made it to my car, I had myself convinced that if she didn't want to get abandoned in a hotel room she shouldn't have eaten so many twinkies.
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I blew up a guys tires on his car with M-80s at about 3 oclock in the morning.
He bullied me in High School too many times and I got him back 12 years later! I never forgot the things he did to me and I held a gruge for a long time.
A cowards way of getting back at him but he was bigger than me and should of known better than to pick on someone littler than him!
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I had a forman about 10 or 15 years ago who was newly transfered in from another city. he was a pain in the bellybutton to work for. trying to micro manage every detail when he doesn't know as much about what I was doing as I did. he was wanting me to do my work in a way that would have been sloppy, dangerous, harder to do, and leave a crappy product in the end. you could tell he was probably a decent sort outside of work but he had no idea how to be a foremen with profesionals working for him (basicly make sure my next assignment is ready for me when I'm done and stayout of the way).
so anyway after a couple weeks of this and him not taking the hint when I tell him to step off, or take a walk so I can get some work done, I got fairly pissed off. so on my way back from a McD's run at lunch we pull into the lot and I see his nice new mustang between me and the gate. so I gather up everybodys left over fries (maybe 3 supersized servings), tear them up in little pieces, and dump them down the center of his car as I walk by.
while we worked the last half the day every seagul in portland landed on his car for a fry and a dump.
when I walked out at the end of the day he was standing there staring, you could only see red paint on the lower sides of the car. the rest was that nice mix of seagul white, green, yellow. as
I walked by I said "so you get on natures nerves too?"
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Originally posted by Sikboy
When I was in the Navy I had an insufferable room mate for a while. So I used to jerk off a jizz in his hair conditioner. Never before was revenge so fun!
-Sik
LOL TMI
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I did something mean to a cat.We played baseball with a cat once. My brother pitched the cat, I took a mighty swing(it was a heavy pillow). The cat went spinning through the air. He must have been doing 5000 rpm's. But it backfired on us. As he was spinning his bowels let go. We had a hard time explaining the cat poop all over the living room. It was on the walls, ceiling, and furniture. Til this day we still blame the cat.
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Sixpence
OMFG I just almost passed out I laughed so hard!!!
Man some funny stuff. I need to try he seagul one!
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Once... in the navy... I had this insufferable roomate. I used to refill his toothpaste with my hair conditioner.
MiniD
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Once pulled a commando type raid on a guys pot plants. Very exciting.
Once had relations with a girl on a bet. I feel bad about that one, except she was very pretty.
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MT
If she was hot, what was the bet?
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Pointed out a girl at a party in college and said I bet I can.... and I won.
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In college there was a guy in the dorms that was an EXTREME homo-phobe.
So, during one of the many floor parties that we had, this individual got ripped and passed out. So, what did we do?
Stripped him down, put and put him face down in the shower in the bathroom.
The next morning, he wakes up, finds himself naked and face down in the shower. Course he asks everyone what the heck happened.
"we can't tell you" we all say. "It too horrible"
"What, WHAT?" his voice raising to a fevered pitch "What happened?????"
"You F***** a guy"
Long pause.... Anguished scream...
"NOOoooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!"
To this day, no one told him :D :D :D
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Oh I just remembered one....
Had a guy in our dorm everyone hated... including his roommate. One night we decided to get him. We got one of those 5 gallon paint pails and we all (4 or 5 of us) took turns peeing into it. The last guy did that one number better if you know what I mean. Then we got a small firecracker and put it on a cigarette fuse. The bucket was leaned carefully against the guys dorm room door, and the firecracker was lit and placed on a piece of foil and slid under his door into his room.
We all then ran to our rooms and quitely waited for the histrionics. When the cracker blew the guy ran to his door screaming and opened it ..... spilling the putrid mess on his feet and floor. Thats about when he puked.
No one said a word about it afterwords, but he moved the next week.
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I changed Grunherz' homepage to goatse.cx and put the photo on his wallpaper. :)
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Once pulled a commando type raid on a guys pot plants. Very exciting.
This is unforgivable.
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Originally posted by Mini D
Once... in the navy... I had this insufferable roomate. I used to refill his toothpaste with my hair conditioner.
MiniD
heh, as if I brush my teeth.
-Sik
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I guess probably during a football game against Dublin High. I tried to hit a guy so hard that it would take him out of the game. The impact hurt him so bad he was crying and they carried him off. He didn't have any serious injuries, just got the wind knocked out of him basically, and it was a clean play, no penalty, but it didn't feel good at all, even though all the guys were like "Way to go man you took him out!" I tore cartilage in my knee the next game and never played again. Karma, etc.
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We skipped school. Corn Husker's Lotion in squirt guns. Porn theater. Sat behind an old man. Jacking noises. Groans. Let him have it all over the back of his head and neck. Ran out.
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Was at the local Olive garden to get gift certificates for a friends birthday. I see an old girlfriend and kind of motion a Hello. Make eye contact...her nose goes straight up into the air. Snobby wench. I'll fix that. Look closer..oh, she on a date...notice the waiter...mention I'm related to her and "shhh...its her birthday"...waiter lights up with a smile and heads out back. As I'm leaving the place, I hear 7 or 8 waiters and waitresses chanting that dumb happy birthday song, clapping, etc...
:o :p :rofl
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In school we had a teacher who was British but born in India. As a kid he was bitten by.....I dunno, something......and a couple of times a year he'd phase out in class and just be completely out of it for about 5 minutes.
So of course......he'd come round with pencils in his ears, up his nose, paper stuffed in his mouth. This one time we shaved one eyebrow off, when he came round he thanked us for not taking advantage of the situation like most other classes......by lunchtime the whole class had detention for a week.
(http://image1ex.villagephotos.com/extern/640697.jpg)
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LOL that's funny as hell.
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I killed a man once .... just to watch him die.
I felt bad until he smack-talked me on channel one.
Then I smiled. :D
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I like nailing pedestrians with puddles of water when I'm driving around town on rainy days (big 4WD tyres make them splashes go the extra distance).
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Gto, some of that is just messed up.
Last story reminds me of a good one. Was dropping a friend off at his place at night in the spring, snow melting, and huge puddles all over. As he gets out I tell him to watch me nail the puddle on the corner. I zip around the corner doing about 40k with the tire right next to the curb, it sends this tidal wave of disaster proportions up in the air. When the debris settles all I see is this silhouette of a guy standing right next to the curb like he's just been soaked to the bone. I quickly kill the lights on the car and continue my get-away. The friend of mine who was watching said all you could hear was this guy screaming, "You fu*&%^g bast^&d!"
Totally didn't see him there, oops.
No regrets!
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ok, to start with I'll have to explain I have psoriasis, I've never seen anyone with it as bad as mine, when it flares up bad it can cover >60% of my body.
so anyway I'm soaking in a Jacuzzi (the big ones that are built into the side of a swimming pool), trying to relax, enjoying a weekend at the beach.
this girl comes and gets in, late 20’s, kinda pretty but with the attitude you can see before she even opens her mouth.
I get a lot of questions about my skin, most people I talk to ask eventually, if we talk long enough, and most people are reasonably considerate and polite. she wasn't most people.
after about 15 minutes she looks over and sees the psoriasis on my shoulder. she slides to the far end of the Jacuzzi, stands up and points at my shoulder, "WHAT, is that!"
I look up real calm "don't even get me started on this toejam, I talked to that new neighbor of mine for 5 minutes, shake his hand and now I got fluff'n leprosy for the rest of my life, tell me, how the hell is that fair"
she was screeching and sobbing pretty hard as she ran from the pool house.
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MotorOil
Stuff in the thread is messed up? Or stuff I did?
LOL :aok
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Originally posted by Vulcan
I like nailing pedestrians with puddles of water when I'm driving around town on rainy days (big 4WD tyres make them splashes go the extra distance).
That happened to a group of us out wondering back from a house party. Guy nails the puddle drecnhing us all. Like it mattered was raining and we had alcohol as our umbrella. I promptly chucked my beer bottle at his car, exploding on the trunk of his nice shiny red car something. He never stopped. What pissed me off the most was I didn't have a beer now.
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Originally posted by capt. apathy
I had a forman about 10 or 15 years ago who was newly transfered in from another city. he was a pain in the bellybutton to work for. trying to micro manage every detail when he doesn't know as much about what I was doing as I did. he was wanting me to do my work in a way that would have been sloppy, dangerous, harder to do, and leave a crappy product in the end. you could tell he was probably a decent sort outside of work but he had no idea how to be a foremen with profesionals working for him (basicly make sure my next assignment is ready for me when I'm done and stayout of the way).
so anyway after a couple weeks of this and him not taking the hint when I tell him to step off, or take a walk so I can get some work done, I got fairly pissed off. so on my way back from a McD's run at lunch we pull into the lot and I see his nice new mustang between me and the gate. so I gather up everybodys left over fries (maybe 3 supersized servings), tear them up in little pieces, and dump them down the center of his car as I walk by.
while we worked the last half the day every seagul in portland landed on his car for a fry and a dump.
when I walked out at the end of the day he was standing there staring, you could only see red paint on the lower sides of the car. the rest was that nice mix of seagul white, green, yellow. as
I walked by I said "so you get on natures nerves too?"
:aok :aok :rofl good One!
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I turn cv's as noobs take off
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MY German teacher in middle school was a penthouse pet, we found the issue in one of our dads collections and took it to school to show the other kids... We were busted with the magazine...And she was busted for sure...
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Originally posted by FUNKED1
I guess probably during a football game against Dublin High. I tried to hit a guy so hard that it would take him out of the game. The impact hurt him so bad he was crying and they carried him off. He didn't have any serious injuries, just got the wind knocked out of him basically, and it was a clean play, no penalty, but it didn't feel good at all, even though all the guys were like "Way to go man you took him out!" I tore cartilage in my knee the next game and never played again. Karma, etc.
I have a similar story.
PLaying a high school basketball game my senior year. We were running a pick play successfully where I ran around another player to get free for the ball. The opposing team had a player that thought it would be a good idea to jump out in front of me as I cleared the pick... he wanted to draw a charging foul on me.
Well the 1st time he did it I flattened him, and the ref called HIM for the foul. Then the next time down the floor he did it again. I knew it was coming and added a little forearm to the hit.. he went down, foul on him again! This had to be the last time right? Nope! Next time down... wack! I flatten the kid a third time and he is again called for the foul. The opposing coach was livid. It was an away game so the crowd was livid too. My coach pulled me after the foul shots and asked me to PLEASE not knock the guy over anymore.
Actually I don't really feel bad about that one. :D
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I have a pencil lead in my palm, to lead off.
I am not a nasty person, but I will not be ****ed with, either.
Dickweed tries to steal my customers-Fired, even though I helped him and his wife move into their new(expensive) house the week before.
Bully in Junior High-shower party with blue dye.
Moron with a cat that crapped all over the Fraternity house-Shaved and also dyed blue(the cat, which I felt bad about, it should have been the dude).
Girlfriend that I was tired of(she was very skinny with hairs on her nipples), dumped, and a couple of years later when I was back in town visiting I did her.
"Friend" that backstabbed me-2 gallons of racing fuel in his gas tank, can you say, "no more compression".
The worst though, was a friend of mine loaned me an autographed book that I then loaned to my little brother. The stupid bellybutton little brother lost the book, and I lost one of my best friends over it. I even found a copy of the small circulation book, found the author(104 year old lady, at that point), had her autograph the book and gave it to him, but it was never the same.
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I used to spend my summers living with my grand-parents at an arsenal in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. All the kids there, with the exception of myself, were military brats. Most were okay, but a few were as mean as Satan.
One of them, who was considerably larger than myself (I was in the third or fourth grade) tried to beat me up in front of his girlfriend. In his attempts to pin me he inadvertently draped the soft underside of his bicep in front of my face.
He made a screaming, screeching bee-line for his front door. The first twenty yards of that made, wailing dash were made with my teeth firmly affixed in his arm.
Heh! That memory still brings a grin! :rofl
Does that count?
Shuckins
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Originally posted by Gadfly
I have a pencil lead in my palm, to lead off.
I am not a nasty person, but I will not be ****ed with, either.
Dickweed tries to steal my customers-Fired, even though I helped him and his wife move into their new(expensive) house the week before.
Bully in Junior High-shower party with blue dye.
Moron with a cat that crapped all over the Fraternity house-Shaved and also dyed blue(the cat, which I felt bad about, it should have been the dude).
Girlfriend that I was tired of(she was very skinny with hairs on her nipples), dumped, and a couple of years later when I was back in town visiting I did her.
"Friend" that backstabbed me-2 gallons of racing fuel in his gas tank, can you say, "no more compression".
The worst though, was a friend of mine loaned me an autographed book that I then loaned to my little brother. The stupid bellybutton little brother lost the book, and I lost one of my best friends over it. I even found a copy of the small circulation book, found the author(104 year old lady, at that point), had her autograph the book and gave it to him, but it was never the same.
Wow, I could never be like you or your best friend.... you both sound a little petty and vendictive
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Pretty sad, eh, Nuke?
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I dont know....I apologise , I dont know ya :)
Me, I never was one to take revenge. Hell, it's VERY hard for me to find someone I can't get along with in real life.
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Me too. In my whole life, there are 2 people that I can't stand to be around, and even then I don't hate them.
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Originally posted by Gunthr
We skipped school. Corn Husker's Lotion in squirt guns. Porn theater. Sat behind an old man. Jacking noises. Groans. Let him have it all over the back of his head and neck. Ran out.
:rofl :rofl :rofl :aok
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Hmmmm, let's see here....
A bully in 7th grade through it'd be funny if the quick-release front tire on my bike vanished. His bike was never seen again, and everyone questioned on the matter said they didn't know where it went. Though the pair of $20 bills in my wallet knew exactly where they came from.
Although my family has yet to figure out just where this goombah fits in, I have an uncle who the word "prettythanghole" was invented for. He's done some really nasty things to people for no apparent reason, his own family especially. Late last summer he discovered that his garage freezer (a massive thing, loaded with food) had been set to defrost. Every last item spoiled before he found out what that stench was, and where it was coming from. <--- His daughter did this because he wouldn't let her move into a college dorm!!
A few years ago I was living in a duplex, me on one side with the landlord on the other. Him being from Wisconsin (and Polish) naturally made him the biggest, and dumbest, cheapskate on earth. Five times I'd asked him to replace the weather stripping around the two front windows. In any remotely wet weather, both of 'em leaked like mad. What's worse, during the usual spring rains we get (monsoons really) I had to keep a bucket under one window to catch the overflow. After the umpteenth time of me asking him, and him refusing, I just gave up. That summer he picked up an air conditioner that mounted in a window. Somehow, at the height of a 90+ heatwave, the drain hole got plugged up with a wad of gum (damn kids). He had to replace the carpeting in the living room when the drain pan leaked onto the floor. The cheap bastage never did fix the windows. Nor did he find out just who plugged the drain spout on the AC. I moved out about a year after that happened, right around the time he found out there was dry-rot around the window area on both units.
But the worst.... A long-time friend of mine also happened to be a long-time stoner. Usually this made for some pretty funny pranks, like the time his girlfriend shaved his legs after he got royally baked. Anyhoo, he was hunting for the perv who stole both rear speakers out of his car; twin Kennwood 6x9's he picked up on sale. He knew it was someone in the apartment complex, but not exactly which dweeb was the offender. Come to find out the manager's mother just had two brand new speakers dropped in her car. On checking this out, they were the same speakers he had stolen from his car. Now that he knew who it was, he enlisted me and about ten of his stoner buds to cook up a scheme. I couldn't think up anything legal, though the thought of pulling the plates off her car and reporting an "abandoned" vehicle was brought up. Apparently that was a tad too calm for him, cause we never did it. So my dear friend proceeds to get stoned out of his gourd, trying to find a solution. Well, come morning, I wake up on the floor to hear someone in the process of suicide by laughter. I get up, stagger for the door, light a smoke, and nearly wet my pants!! A certain someone had rattle-canned "I'm no virgin, ask your momma" on the manager's black, 80-something Z28 with bright pink paint. :rofl
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Flakbait [Delta6]
Delta Six's Flight School (http://www.worldaccessnet.com/~delta6)
Put the P-61B in Aces High
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ah lost of memories brought up by this thread,the worst, hmm lessee, ah back in 85 i was living in an apartment complex, one of my neighbors and i had become freinds, got out drinking chasing chicks etc, well we would always make sure who would drive, so the other could get smashed,we'll i got a lil smashed one night, he poured me into the car, now i know i had at least $350 in my pocket cash, i paid for my drinks on my card. anyhow i asked him about it of course he denies it (btw he was a crappy liar) i dropped it, i figure paybacks a *itch and that would happen eventually. well the opertunity finally came he landed a new job fancy new company car, and he wanted to go partying,in his new company car he wanted me to drive though so he could get wasted, which he did we left the bar, he fell asleep on thhe way back to the apartments(i'd only had 2 beers that night ,this was a planned eventand i didn't want to be wasted), we get about 3/4 mile from apartmant i'm checking around for traffic, got lucky the roads were empty, i slowed the car down, double checked my seatbelt , and rolled his new company car into the ditch(minor damage to car) i moved him into driver seat leaned him forward, ran like hell to payphone and called 911 to report a car of the road, then went home for a good nite sleep, he calls me next day from drunk tank asking if i could pick him up from jail, said np, picked him up he asked what happened i told him he must of drove cuz i left bar early with a lil hotty;) , he didn't remeber a thing, got nailed with a dui, lost his job for wrecking company car while intoxicated, nuff said, i dont get mad i just get even ...and then some.
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Originally posted by GtoRA2
MotorOil
Stuff in the thread is messed up? Or stuff I did?
Both, but I think Krazhorse just stole the show. Dang that's mean!
Punt
:rofl
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Wow...Krazy...you're going to hell for that one....
:(
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No, to be mean would be to call him up now and tell him that you did that to him.
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we'll i got a lil smashed one night, he poured me into the car, now i know i had at least $350 in my pocket cash, i paid for my drinks on my card
nobody ever got drunk and lost or forgot where the spent some cash?
I think I'd have had to have a bit more evidence than my memory on a day when I had to be put in a car by someone else(especially if I didn't remember him stealing it, just couldn't remember doing anything else with it), before I took revenge in a way that would literally ruin someones life (as aposed to their day).
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Never really did anything horrible for no reason. Did do horrible things to those that, at the time, I felt deserved it. The worst thing was what I did to this kids new mustang. High school kid, you know, the one kid in school that thinks he's the coolest and feels free to push everyone around, especialy you. His mustang went missing from the driveway one night. It was found a week later in an oak tree, apparently after taking part in a demolition derby contest(didn't really but it ended up looking as though it did). Ending up in the oak tree was a pleasant mistake, turns out a drainage pipe was camo'd by tall grass. Funny how a decent size pipe can really launch a vehicle traveling at high speed.
Afraid the universe will take my rides to compensate.
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I forgot one:
My roomate at a college I attended (for less than a year :) ) was a really huge fat guy.
First night he drinks a whole bottle of rum and as he started to get the spins he decided to take a shower. He turned on the water and then went to have a dump. He passed out buck naked sitting on the toilet.
The rooms were organised in the dorm so that two rooms each shared a bathroom, so we were able to form a viewing line leading into my room, through the bathroom and then out the door of our neighbours.
We charged 25 cents. I think the whole dorm paid up...as did all the guests who were attending a party one floor down, including the women.
We then had a party in his honour with the proceeds.
Poor guy...he was horrified when he found out about it the next day.
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Now folks, what if you had to go back in time....or find these people now...and apologize in order to get into heaven?
Would you? Probably better for another thread...
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If I could go back, I would hide this fish better....
And not tell her about the one in her rollerblade.
She got me fired by sleeping with the boss about 5 months later!!
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Originally posted by 1K0N
MY German teacher in middle school was a penthouse pet, we found the issue in one of our dads collections and took it to school to show the other kids... We were busted with the magazine...And she was busted for sure...
silly kids..why not blackmail her and make her strip for you and play out all your fantasies :)
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Not a chance.
Shuckins
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When I worked at an abulance co here in Dallas.
there was this Fat Biotch that would always sneak my food out of the fridge.
Well I was working 24hr shifts so I could never catch her.
So me and my partner Had an Idea.
The owner always left his dog at the station.
So one morning before we got on the abulance I took my salad out of the fridge and rubbed all the lettuce on the dogs arse!!!
then put it back in the fridge.
And sure nuff when I got back in later that night my salad was gone.
So I asked the fat chick if she enjoyed the salad?
Of course she dinied having eaten it.
I said thats Good cause I rubbed it all over that dogs arse:aok
She promply went to trow up:rofl
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Put a guys entire set of dry socks in a freezing river on the first day of a winter field excersise....
Oh.. and a few weeks later i fooled around with his sister.
He got abit upset.
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Good that you did not fool around with his sisters socks:D
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I was playing center for my HS football team. The nose tackle was this little jerk who kept slapping my ear holes. It hurt like a mutha and I complained to the ref after the 2nd time. He tells me, "You're a big guy, just shake it off". He does it a few more times and I tell my coach. He tells me, "just hit 'em hard and in a good christian sportsmanlike manner ask him to stop". The defensive line coach comes up to me as I'm standing there in disbelief and whispers in my ear to wait for a play up the middle and nail the guy "right in the gotcha". Next play I snap quick and come up quick under him with a nice head butt to the sternum. He's light compared to me so it stands him up. I grab him by the shoulder pads and drive my knee as hard as I can into his groin. He folds like a house of cards grabbing his crotch, draws a huge breath and wails so loud everyone stops and turns. The crowd got quiet and there I was standing over his quivering body with everybody looking at me in shock. It seems perhaps I was a little obvious as the play had been whistled dead when the QB dropped the snap and fell on the ball. I was so focused I missed that and everyone saw my little revenge. It turns out the guy forgot his cup... They carried him out on a stretcher and I heard him wailing all the way to the locker room. I'll never forget the ref, "Number 50 that was vicious son. You are outta the game!" He ended up going to the hospital and I was informed by the nun who ran our school the next day that he ended up with a ruptured nut. I calmly explained to her what had precipitated my savagery but said I was overcome with pain at the time and was out of my head. I kept the def. coach stuff to myself. I think she didn't like talking about testicles very much so she let me off with a stern warning.
I wonder if he ever had kids...
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This isnt a revenge or outta spitfullness story but it was kinda mean in a way .
I has stationed at McClellan AFB in sacramento and I had been working the grave shift flightline for quite a long time ..
Well one morning as I was sitting in the office going over the nights maintenance with one of the Tech sgt's , we had this Green Female troop show up for her first day ....
Well She entered the little office break room in the hanger and was standing there with that "O my God I'm lost sortta look "on her face . it was still befor the normal day shift showed up at this time. and the Tech sgt said that He'd be with her in a few mins...
Well she stood there looking around and noticed some of the Huge Bugs that we always have flying around the office at night .
And then proceeded to point at one and ask "What... what ...Whats That bug ???"
Well I couldnt resist this time ...and I calmly replied
"Oh thats just a mosquito " ..... "BAM"!!!!!
I never Heard a Girl Scream as loud as she did at that moment ...
and she then Ran outta the building screaming past the Day shift Master Sgt ...(the supevisor) out into the street ...
The Tech Sgt and myself were Rolling on the floor Laffing our arse's off as the Msgt entered ... And of course I got the ole dreaded ..."now what did you do look "
Well after a short explaination ... I had him laffing at it too .
I then proceeded to go talk to her ,and ended up giving her the base tour ,breakfast, and all that ..
All that just over a simple mosquito hawk .
it turned out She was from somewere on the east coast and had never seen one befor.
This may have been the reason i also got sent to the phase docks dayshift for 3 months also ... (I hated getting shoved up C-130 intakes to file compressor blades)
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having a weapon aimed at me 5 times.
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
having a weapon aimed at me 5 times.
That sure was mean of you.
-Sik
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I drank some guy's beer up. That is EVIL!!!
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Who cares? Drank or DRUNK? DRUNK!
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capt.apathy... this is a thread about the meanest thing, didn't say anything about being the proper thing, any how he did it, there was lil bit more to it , he ran his mouth to someone , that wasn't to great at keeping secrets, that was just one of the mean things iv'e done there are a few more, maybe i'll share them later, ty for your comment though:)
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We used to do practical jokes in the military all of the time. I honestly can't think of a single act of "revenge" because someone was disliked. It's a bit odd to see so many people bragging about being vindictive while losely trying to explain how much the guy/gal "deserved" it.
Ah well... it's not the first time people will fail to realize the cowardice of their own acts and it won't be the last.
MiniD
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I pointed a gun at this dude for no reason. Five times.
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Ah well... it's not the first time people will fail to realize the cowardice of their own acts and it won't be the last.
It's not cowardice if you let them know it was you. thats really the best part of the revenge anyway, letting them know beyond a doubt it was you without really admitting it.
like they guy with the seagul car, a week or 2 later we where sitting around at lunch and I flipped some fry's to a gull, and said (while turning away from the guy I had been talking to to look directly at the car guy) "man these things really go for fries, you dump enough of them out and every seagul for miles around with just sit there, eat'n and crap'n until they are gone."
he knew right away what I meant, and that I was the one who set up the buffet on his car, but couldn't really do anything about it as he had no proof, his frustration at that minute was even better than the look when he saw the car.
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I did something mean to a cat.We played baseball with a cat once. My brother pitched the cat, I took a mighty swing(it was a heavy pillow). The cat went spinning through the air. He must have been doing 5000 rpm's. But it backfired on us. As he was spinning his bowels let go. We had a hard time explaining the cat poop all over the living room. It was on the walls, ceiling, and furniture. Til this day we still blame the cat.
OMG my wife had to come see why I was laying on the floor laughing so hard I couldnt talk----all I could do was point at the monitor ---and I still cant see from the tears......Thank you sixpence
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Originally posted by midnight Target
Actually I don't really feel bad about that one. :D
I never felt bad about flattening guys. It was really the only thing I was good at in sports. But the fact that I tried to injure him and then to hear him crying, it really felt bad, maybe something like Joker after the blanket party in Full Metal Jacket.
BTW this was not a spontaneous idea. Varsity got a sticker on their helmet for every "stick" (a tackle or block which injured the opponent or caused him to miss a play), every sack, every TD, every FG, every turnover, etc. "Sticking" guys was the only way for us linemen to get stickers, so it was something the position coaches emphasised.
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My first car was a 1968-70 Dodge Charger 440 magnum--I spent a whole summer and then some and every cent I made building this car from the ground up.. car wasnt fast off the line but when the blower got going it would blow away anything on the 1/4..
This guy in my town had a 68 firebird and it was cherry also, he couldnt beat me dragging though we had done it several times--he decided he didnt like my candy apple red paint job one night and trashed it with paint remover ----I knew it was him, sooooo
We had a kegger near where we dragged on a back road one night --I had just seen Walking Tall where they removed bufords lugnuts-during the party I took off 3 lugnuts from the right rear of his car, then challenged him to a race ---about half way down the road his rim came off and when it did it caused the car to turn sideways and roll 6 or 7 times---he got out of it ok (thank God) but the car was totaled..Needless to say my dad sold my car and used the money to buy me a 65 belair 4 door lol --was several years before I did any draggin again.....and he did find out I had done that--me and my big mouth --now that was a hell of a fight
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Well I dont know if I killed that mother****er or just wounded him...
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Originally posted by drone
My first car was a 1968-70 Dodge Charger 440 magnum--I spent a whole summer and then some and every cent I made building this car from the ground up.. car wasnt fast off the line but when the blower got going it would blow away anything on the 1/4..
This guy in my town had a 68 firebird and it was cherry also, he couldnt beat me dragging though we had done it several times--he decided he didnt like my candy apple red paint job one night and trashed it with paint remover ----I knew it was him, sooooo
We had a kegger near where we dragged on a back road one night --I had just seen Walking Tall where they removed bufords lugnuts-during the party I took off 3 lugnuts from the right rear of his car, then challenged him to a race ---about half way down the road his rim came off and when it did it caused the car to turn sideways and roll 6 or 7 times---he got out of it ok (thank God) but the car was totaled..Needless to say my dad sold my car and used the money to buy me a 65 belair 4 door lol --was several years before I did any draggin again.....and he did find out I had done that--me and my big mouth --now that was a hell of a fight
ROFLMAO God, I LOVE that trick! I did that to Mini-D's Mini but he must have checked his lug nuts cause he made it home from the Mini-Con OK. :rolleyes:
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Originally posted by Airhead
ROFLMAO God, I LOVE that trick! I did that to Mini-D's Mini but he must have checked his lug nuts cause he made it home from the Mini-Con OK. :rolleyes:
I knew if I didn't say anything I'd find out who did that. The wheels fell off in Redding. Fortunately, it was right when we pulled into the In-and-Out burger. We decided we'd just live there. Eventually, the smell got so bad that the manager offered to repair the car if we'd just leave. We made him throw 8 4x4s in and it was a deal.
MiniD
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Originally posted by Vulcan
I like nailing pedestrians with puddles of water when I'm driving around town on rainy days (big 4WD tyres make them splashes go the extra distance).
Wasnt me but I was in the car with my cousin driving around in the rain and there were big puddles all around and we would just drive at them even taking hard corners right in the biggest puddles - yea stupid I know. So anyway we take this one turn hard into a huge puddle and the water just explodes everywhere as we accelerate away hard and loud. I think the little kid standing on the corner near died from fear - sure looked like that on the kid's face. I felt really bad and really lucky we didnt hit the kid as we never noticed him until the last second... :(
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I gotta couple..
Just plain mean: A few years ago I had a real pain-in-the-ass NCOIC who had himself a girlfriend "on the side". He didn't even hide it, and even told a few of us that he had the girl fooled into believing he was single. So one day while he was out of the office, his phone rang, I answerd and it was was his wife, she asked me to have him call home asap. As luck would have it, the girlfriend called right after I hung up and asked for his home phone number.... I was more than happy to oblige.
New guy initiation: Our whole Security Police Flight got involved in this one... the new guy was the perfect candidate. One of the weapons storage structures (earth covered) had allot of comm related antenna's/sat dishes etc on top of it and was cordoned off with radiation danger signs (due to the antenna, not the nukes inside). There were also these little 1' access boxes buried up there with the lid flush with the ground (which we stuck a red flashlight in). On the selected night at about 1am, we told new guy it was his turn to go up and do (a fictitious) radiation check. Had him put all his chem-gear/mask on and told him to go up, go into the cordon area, lift the lid and check for a red light. If he see's the red light, he's to immediately report by radio. So a little later the guy calls in the red light. THEN, all at about the same time, the Flight Sgt gets on the radio and says to him "Roger the red, stay calm son, an ambulance is on the way", the dude working the control building starts hammering the area klaxxon and we have a patrol with lights and siren's on come screaming down the flightline road towards the weapon storage. New guy comes running off the building in a panic to beat all panics and tries to get in the fire-team room (hardened structure) but we have it locked down tight. The guy rips his gas-mask off and is REALLY wailing "lemme in lemme in", I mean he's in tears now and we're STILL telling him it's too late, the area, and you have been contaminated hehe... best one we ever pulled off lol.
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wow I didnt see this thread til now!
1st grade. There were only about 12 of us in the class at the time and we sat in a semi-circle for 'reading time.' I told the teacher I had forgot my book in my backpack in the hall. So I go get the book... along with fake poop.
This was THE best fake turd you've ever seen. It was an exact replica of a nice long dog/human turd... either way. The only thing missing was the smell.
I lean back on my chair for a few minutes and eventually tip backwards (making sure not to hit my head). I stealthily slip the turd out of my pocket and slide it under the chair of a girl sitting next to me in the circle. No one saw it for a few minutes, so I raised my hand and said "Bethany, um, went under her chair...!"
The teacher's eyes bulged out and looked sick. Her voice went high pitched and started panting. I was scared so I picked it up to show her it was fake and she went 20 shades pale. She ran outta the classroom and screamed "PUT THAT IN A BAG NOW!!"
I found the nearest bag, put it in, and said she coudl come back in. She screamed when she saw it was a see-thru ziploc. She didnt come back in the classrooom til the principal came down. Hehe, it wasnt very mean, but I had a good time.
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Funked, back in high school football I played the same way you did every down. I hurt a few kids when I played, but I never felt bad about it. If they can't take a hit like that, then maybe they should try a non-contact sport... maybe a spelling bee would suit.
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Never heard of Full Contact Spelling Bee?
I played it, this one kid spelled cat with a 9. I ran at him, knocked him to the ground and kicked him in the balls repeatedly until he defecated in his pants.
Then I removed the lug nuts from his parent's mini-van because they tried to race me on my trikey. Taught those dirty bastards and their non-spelling kid a lesson that day.
-SW
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Originally posted by AKS\/\/ulfe
Never heard of Full Contact Spelling Bee?
I played it, this one kid spelled cat with a 9. I ran at him, knocked him to the ground and kicked him in the balls repeatedly until he defecated in his pants.
Then I removed the lug nuts from his parent's mini-van because they tried to race me on my trikey. Taught those dirty bastards and their non-spelling kid a lesson that day.
-SW
SAD SAD SAD trying to steal our stories --make up your own
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I dont think this one was mean just funny, besides the guy dared me to do it.
I was driving around doing my deliverys in Tucson in my big Izuzu delivery truck it was during the summer and we were having a monsoon. I think it was either Cambell or Prince, anyway the side of the street was totally flooded. This guy was walking along the sidewalk, next to this huge lake that used to be the curb he saw me coming looked into my eyes, then walked to the edge of the sidewalk closest to the puddle. This side walk at that point was just the curbside sticking up like a tightrope between 2 muddy lakes. But I said so you think Im not gonna spray you? Think again buddy. Gunned the engine hit the puddle and sent up a tsunami sized wall of water. Musta been 15ft high. I look in the mirror and he looks like a water elemental from D&D stumbling away from the road. He turns around and starts hopping up and down and shaking his fist. :rofl
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Originally posted by Ripsnort
having a weapon aimed at me 5 times.
Oops, read the title wrong.
Meanest thing I've ever done? I used to look for the biggest guys in Junior and Senior high school and beat em up just to show em I could. I was a violent person during a nasty divorce environment.
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What are you from arkansas or nebraska or something? Most of us waited til we were outta Junior high before we got our first divorce :p
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Originally posted by Pooh21
What are you from arkansas or nebraska or something? Most of us waited til we were outta Junior high before we got our first divorce :p
PARENTS pooh, PARENTS! LOL! (Rommel with a Monty puppet, LMAO!!!)