A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: have their parents tell
them a story with a moral.
The next day the kids came to class, and one by one, told their stories.
Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and have hens that
lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket of eggs to market on the
front seat of the pick-up truck and we hit a big bump in the road. The eggs
went flying and broke all over everything."
"And what is the moral to that story?"
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
"Very good" said the teacher.
Then little Lucy raised her hand and said, "We live on a farm, too. But we
raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs once but when they
hatched, we got only ten live chicks. And the moral
to that story is don't count your chickens before they are hatched."
"That was a fine example, Lucy. Johnny, I believe you had your hand up
next."
"Yes Ma'm. My daddy told me that my Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in
Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory
and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She
drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed
right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them
with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty
more with the machete before the blade broke off. Then she killed the last
ten with her bare hands."
"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What did your daddy tell you
was the moral to that terrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."
