And I thought we had enough trouble with sheep

[flakbait]

According to Reuters, the dazed crew of a Japanese trawler was plucked out of the Sea of Japan earlier this year clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship. Their rescue was followed by immediate imprisonment once  authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering its hull and sinking the vessel within minutes. They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily taken off for home. Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a frightened cow rampaging within the hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.


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Flakbait
Delta 6's Flight School
"For yay did the sky darken, and split open and spew forth fire, and
through the smoke rode the Four Wurgers of the Apocalypse.
And on their canopies was tattooed the number of the Beast, and the
number was 190." Jedi, Verse Five, Capter Two, The Book of Dweeb
 

[Eagler]

bomb load selection for C47?  

Eagler

[Ozark]

ROFL  

[Boroda]

This joke has a beard 2 meters long. It's best version was in a "Some features of national hunting" movie, the best Russian comedy of the past decade.

In that movie a Tu-22M crew carries a cow in a bomb bay, but the ground control is informed about it, and orders the crew to land immediately. Pilot explains with gestures to the bombardier that they have to release their "bombload", "cow away", and they land. When the ground control officers order them to open a bomb bay - the cow is still there, stretched like a starfish and frightened to death. One of the bomber crew says an epic phrase: "If you want to live - you could spread yourself apart even worse". (Sorry, in Russian it's funny, I just can't find right words  )

Anyway, it's one of the oldest VVS jokes...

Here is another one: During the Afghan war IL-76 crews had a little business. They smuggled little nice Middle-Asian turtles to Russia. Usualy officers gave them turtles and a small fee, they locked turtles in a box and  delivered them to Russia. So, once the box ulocked in flight and turtles crawled all over the plane. Crew was in panic because they tried to hide away and could stuck the controls or break something. So they searched the plane and tried to put the turtles back into the box. The trick was that they had 20 turtles in a box before it unlocked. After they searched the plane they counted them and found out that they have 25 turtles...

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With respect,
    Pavel Pavlov,
    Commissar 25th IAP WB VVS

[Jimdandy]

LOL I thought acid rain was bad.