1.) Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2.) Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3.) You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4.) 6:00AM is when you get up, not go to bed.
5.) You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6.) You watch the Weather Channel.
7.) Your friends marry and divorce, instead of 'hookup' and 'breakup'.
8.) You go from 140 days of vacation time, to 14.
9.) Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
10.) You're the one calling the police because those %&@* kids next door won't turn down the stereo. (And the word stereo dates you too, because there's no such animal any more!)
11.) Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12.) You don't know what time Taco Bell closes any more.
13.) Your car insurance goes down, and your car payments go up.
14.) You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15.) Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16.) You take naps.
17.) Dinner and a movie is the whole date, instead of the beginning of one.
18.) Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19.) You go to drugstore for ibuprofen and antacids, instead of condoms and pregnancy tests.
20.) You actually eat breakfast food and breakfast time.
21.) "I just can't drink the way I used to do", replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again!"
22.) 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
23.) A $4.00 dollar bottle of wine is no longer good S#*!
24.) You Drink at home to save money before going to the bar
25.) When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking oh poop what the hell happened
Bonus
26.) You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
