Joke Time

[Bodhi]

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion into a gas station in a remote outport. The pump attendant obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

'How's she cuttin' bye'' says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick hello' and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

'What are dose?' asks the attendant.

'They're called tees' replies Tiger.

'Well, what on god's earth are dey for?' inquires the attendant.

'They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving' says Tiger.

'butterin Jaysus', says the Newfoundlander, 'Ford tinks of everyting '

[AWMac]

 

Mac

[Gh0stFT]

 

[BMathis]

Computers are Like Women...

• No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
• The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
  
• Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
• As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
• You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.

[Rogue9Volt]

 

[MoeRon]

Those of you who aren't plumbers probably won't get this and won't think it's funny, but I think those of you who are plumbers will really enjoy this...

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"

S.Martin