Go rent/buy "Supersize Me." It will saves you thousands on McDonalds food
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390521/
Actually, I hate McDonalds yet the rigged test in Supersize Me made me sympathetic. I still won't go there. I enclose a missive (and an exchange with a friend of mine who works on the West Coast as an editor) I fired off to Slicky Mickey's Corporate a few years back (excerpted from my book but changed (brackets) for this audience/rules):
"Hello P[J_Godzilla]:
Thank you for contacting McDonald's and for sharing your observations about our restaurant operations. We appreciate when loyal customers, like yourself [sic], take the time to let us know their opinions about our business.
First, let me assure you that we are as committed today as ever before to offering top quality food products, served quickly and courteously, in a clean environment. We continually evaluate our operations, equipment, and training, as well as test new and existing products, to ensure we meet our high standards. I'm truly sorry that the shake machine was not functioning during your visit.
If in the future you find the shake machine not operating, we want to know about it. Please let me know the exact location of the restaurant you visited and details about your visit. I will immediately investigate your concerns.
In the meantime, I'll be certain to share your comments with the appropriate people here at McDonald's. We look forward to serving you again very soon under the Golden Arches.
Once again, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Hector
McDonald's Customer Response Center
And, of course, here's the missive I fired that triggered Hector's smile while swallowing. I'm evil sometimes. Yet, it's all true, even if hurtful.
Dear Sirs,
I don't visit your establishments any more for a variety of reasons. I think my refusal began as a result of several visits to both the McDonald's on Waters Road and S. State in Ann Arbor. Every time I'd visit and request a shake, I was always told the shake machine was broken. At the time, I assumed there was either a systemic issue with the shake machines or McDonald's was simply engaged in fraudulent advertising, i.e., there really were no shakes. It was a pity, in any case, because I remembered those shakes fondly. I used to enjoy them in my youth. Perhaps you should consider developing a shake machine that your hydrocephalic moron employees can actually maintain and operate but what are the odds that such a thing is possible?
In any case, that's not why I write. I write to thank you for injecting humor into my day. That new Sna-Crap product is a scream: it's a snack, no, it's crap, no! It's a snack made of crap!
You need some new marketing people, apparently. Good god, what a pack of morons you people are.
When you are bankrupt, I will be sure to urinate on your pauper's collective grave.
091707 0944 PJL: On another note, would anyone care to comment on McDonalds latest,
the Snackwrap (or, as I call it, the Sna-Krap)?
Haven't tried it, don't want to, but, with a name like Sna-Krap, you know it must really suck.
Also, for any who liked "Office Space" allow me to recommend "Idiocracy". It looks all too familiar.
09`707 1227 SR: Interesting story: I saw the first Spanish-language outdoor ads for this product, which was test-marketed in SF and a couple of other cities (Houston? can't remember...). Said ad had an elementary misspelling, so I called and complained. Local ad agency specialized in "Hispanics" wrote the copy, and the copywriter was taken to task (I was copied on the email). And by way of thanks, I got several coupons for free samples. I tried one...really tasted like [mierda]. I thought of giving the other coupons to some of the vagrants on Market Street, but then recalled that I detest those people. So I tore them up and threw them in the trash.
091707 1255 Tribble: you're trying to help improve McDonald's marketing? are you daft?
091707 1336 SR: Seen in that light... Btw I may have embellished my story. I can no longer recall whether I tore those coupons up...just that I threw them in the trash.
091707 1423 PJL: You should have chewed them up and swallowed them, then deposited your multi-colored Sna-Crap Crap in front of your favorite needy vagrants with the advice, " there's your dinner, boys".