the eternal topic

[guncrasher]

I am 50 years old.  and I still havent figured this one out.  how do you know when you are in love?  I am gonna go pick up this girl in 2 hours, she's nice, has her mental problems, not really any different than me.  I guess you can say around her, I am normal.  we argue and fight all the time in phone calls and texts, but when we meet in person, everything goes so smooth.  we talk about lots of things and dreams and stuff.  we arent any different at all.

she's not a crazy nut, anymore than i am.  we both have jobs, raised families, got divorced, made the best of life as best as we could.

a few days ago, I asked her if she thinks everybody is "normal".  she said something along the lines what exactly is normal. I smiled and said, "hell if I know".

neither one of us is crazy but maybe just crazy enough to make us interesting.  and perhaps crazy enough to know that we can try to get a life together, it may work or maybe it wont.  but we are crazy enough to try .


semp

[WWhiskey]

If your making excuses for her already, (she's not any more crazy than Me),that's not good!
Either except them as they are, or move on! Life is to short to try to "fix" someone, or spend all your time making excuses!
 Besides,, sometime crazy is awesome!

 My wife is my best friend , I celebrate her "crazy"!  She was Crazy enough to marry me, that's all I needed!

[Estes]

Yeah, it's generally not a good thing to go into a relationship looking to change anyone.

[SysError]

...neither one of us is crazy but maybe just crazy enough...

For some reason Zack got me thinking about Charles Bukowski the other day.  So:

"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead,"   

[MiloMorai]

If your making excuses for her already, (she's not any more crazy than Me),that's not good!
Either except them as they are, or move on! Life is to short to try to "fix" someone, or spend all your time making excuses!
 Besides,, sometime crazy is awesome!

 My wife is my best friend , I celebrate her "crazy"!  She was Crazy enough to marry me, that's all I needed!

except?

Shouldn't that be accept?

[JimmyD3]

After 40 years, I still see the 19 year old girl I married, and yes she still gets my furnace hot! I can not even begin to imagine life without her.

No relationship is ever perfect, but if both parties work at making it work, it has an excellent chance of succeeding. You have to be willing to forgive when the other makes a mistake, as they have to be willing to forgive you, but remember to forgive means "it" is NEVER brought up again. "It" is removed as far as the East is from the West.

Good Luck Semp, what ever your decision is. 

[Oldman731]

Yeah, it's generally not a good thing to go into a relationship looking to change anyone.

An old adage:

Women think that men will change after they marry...and they don't.

Men think that women won't change after they marry...and they do.

That said, go for it.  I can't think of one love affair that I've ever regretted.

- oldman

[Shuffler]

My wife is quite a bit younger than I am. She just tells me she does not have time to train another husband.

[craz07]

I don't even talk to my child's mother anymore, she got a restraining order on me for trying to contact her to visit my kid, when I guess I should have gone through court.  So thats what I ended up doing going through court to get visitation... What a process that was, luckily my sister is an attorney and she helped me out big time.  Now I visit with my kid every two weeks and don't talk to the mother anymore.  It is an eternal topic no doubt.

[MiloMorai]

In a few more days, Sept 7, my parents will have been married 69 years.

[Zoney]

I have been married 30 years.

When the right one comes along you will not have to ask yourself if she is the right one, you will just know.

[cpxxx]

Fortunate not to have that problem. Me and wife are essentially compatible and our love requires no work other than the usual reinforcement. The idea we would ever split is almost inconceivable. Yes I know things can come out of left field. But so far so good.

On the other hand I have gained a lot of experience vicariously through a friend. He was divorced in his country and came here to live and soon set off on the online dating circuit. He's not crazy but he can be a big child. But hey aren't we all?

But at this stage he's met so many women with 'issues' he wonders if he'll ever find the right one. Apart from the one off or short relationships he's managed to find a woman with a 'borderline personality disorder' who was incredibly manipulative. Then a woman who had three children with three men, two of them husbands. That's OK but it soon became clear she wasn't the playing with a full deck. He would spend a pleasant weekend with her only to receive a text from her telling him it was over. Then she would recant only to do it again. I told him to run away fast but in the end he persisted. He's a sucker for punishment.  Currently he's dating another woman, who I've met and she seems nice an normal. But I've just seen her daughters performing on a TV talent show and they are as mad as a box of frogs! Uh oh! Time will tell.

I won't advise but I know that with my wife. We never really decided to get married. It just seemed the thing to do. It was that simple and that comfortable and that's the way it's been ever since.

[guncrasher]

we spent the night together and it was crazy.  I guess we are both crazy.  she's not perfect, I am not perfect, perhaps just perfect for each other.  we both willing to try and see how far this gets.

havent been this happy in a long time.  maybe, just maybe, this will last or maybe it wont.  but I am gonna try to make it last as long as I can and so is she.


semp

[SilverZ06]

we spent the night together and it was crazy.  I guess we are both crazy.  she's not perfect, I am not perfect, perhaps just perfect for each other.  we both willing to try and see how far this gets.

havent been this happy in a long time.  maybe, just maybe, this will last or maybe it wont.  but I am gonna try to make it last as long as I can and so is she.


semp

Good for you semp! Do what makes you happy. 

[potsNpans]

Define 'Love' first. I always liked 'to pursue and promote the best interest of another, even at your own personnel legitimate expense'. So do what you like.