Two Cows...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
ENRON:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at
the bank. Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows
back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by your CFO
who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annua l report says the company
owns eight cows, with an option on six more.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon
and market them world-wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop cou nting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then
sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard
to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute...
