He has some interesting planks in his platform.
Gun Control:
"Madam Speaker, it started with the training bra and then it came to the push-up bra; the support bra, the Wonder bra, the super bra," he said. "There is even a smart bra. Now, if that is not enough to prop up your curiosity, there is now a new bra. It is called the holster bra, the gun bra. That is right, a brassiere to conceal a hidden handgun. Unbelievable. That is next? A maxi-girdle to conceal a stinger missile? Beam me up. I advise all men in America against taking women to drive-in movies who may end up getting shot in a passionate embrace. I yield back all those plain old Maidenform brassieres and chain link pantyhose."
On the environment:
"If you don't get those cameras out of my face, I'm gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that'll clear this room!" — Traficant to photojournalists covering his House ethics subcommittee hearing
The space program:
"Now NASA is on an unmanned space mission to the moon. I think NASA should redirect and have an unmanned space mission to Washington, DC, and try to find out if there is any intelligent life left in the Nation's Capital."
And finally, women's issues:
"A California woman has set a world record by hooking 7,000 brassieres together to create the biggest bra ball in history. This bra ball is a protest against the way women's breasts have been exploited. Now, if that is not enough to challenge Victoria's Secret, this buxom diva has filed a lawsuit against another artist who is also building a ball of bras. Think about it. America's courts are bogged down with drugs and murder, and now we will be tied up with 200 pounds of Maidenforms. Unbelievable. Even Slappy White of hillzoo.com cannot believe this. What is next, Congress? A stainless steel panty hose contest? Beam me up. I yield back the fact that all this money being used for this litigation would be better served if they put it towards a cure for breast cancer."
I yield back to! Whatever that means.
