This was taken from our weekly school newspaper. It was written by one of our older teachers.
1) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2)If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, it's full potential, that word would be "meetings".
3)There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
4)People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5)You should not confuse your career with your life.
6)No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
7)When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
8)Never, ever, lick a steak knife.
9)You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10)The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
I couldn't stop laughing when I read number 1.