SAN CLEMENTE, CA—Five years after settling in southern California and trying to blend into American society, a six-man terrorist cell connected to the militant Islamist organization Army of Martyrs has reportedly grown too complacent to conduct its suicide mission, an attack on the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station.
"Five a.m. is when the facility is most vulnerable to attack, when the morning shift security personnel replace the overnight crew," said Adib Dhakwan, the cell's second-in-command. "Unfortunately, Starbucks doesn't open until six, and I don't know about you, but if I don't have that first cup of coffee, forget it.
Originally posted by VOR 1. We should not drop bombs. We should drop Playstations, Britney Spears CDs and Fritos.2. Our new rifles should shoot Ganja darts that bio-degrade instead of bullets.3. We win.
Originally posted by Elfie While the article IS funny, if these guys actually do have plans to blow stuff up, why haven't they been arrested?
Originally posted by Bad31st Check the source - the Onion = Satire
