Author Topic: Disaster humor - this is cute  (Read 123 times)

Offline BTW

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Disaster humor - this is cute
« on: September 29, 2005, 09:27:36 PM »
Gleaned from another web site..

You know you live on the Gulf Coast when....

*You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

*You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.

*Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.

*You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering
your windows.

*When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three
bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.

*Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.

*You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

*You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.

*The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.

*You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the
pool.

*You own more than three large coolers.

*You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the
least bit guilty about it.(My favorite!!!)

*You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take
gallon of gas to get there and back"

*You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your
freezer

*Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble
a portable generator by candlelight.

*You catch a 13-pound redfish. In your driveway.

*You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance
policy.

*You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.

*At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest
chainsaw.

*You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

*There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

*You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at
the Weather Channel.

*Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

*Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

*Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.

*Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

*You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.

*You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree
worker.

*A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

*You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.

*Your child's first words, "hunker down" and you didn't go to UGA!

*Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.

*Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.

*You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad
side."

*Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

*You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.