a Christmas story with the benefit for the adults of actually getting your kid to go to bed at a reasonable time on Christmas eve.
this is a story I made up when my kids were younger, in an effort to get them to get to bed, and also answer the "how does Santa do it all in one night?" questions.
The other Elves
It's a little known fact that Santa employs two types of elves.
There are the classic 'toy maker elves', and the little known 'Recon Elves' who receive their training at a secret installation, ran with the help of the USMC.
The Recon Elves perform 2 very important tasks.
First, they help Santa get his mission accomplished on time. As Santa flies over a neighborhood, he drops squads of Recon elves at each house.
The Recon Elf preps the LZ for Santa.
He makes sure the dog is friendly or restrained, the cookies and milk aren't tainted, fire is low and the damper open, and that Santa has a direct and clear path to the tree and stockings.
In short, they clear all obstacles and distractions from the LZ so Santa can get in and out in a safe and efficient manner. As Santa leaves each house he gathers up his Recon Elves and they repack their chutes and prepare for the next insertion.. er delivery.
The second mission, and likely the most important, is to protect Santa's magic.
Obviously there is no way Santa could do all his work in one night without magic.
Even with the changing time zones giving him more than 24 hours to get the job done it's just too much, he needs his magic.
Santa's magic, like all magic, while being very powerful is also very fragile. All it takes is for one curious child to actually see Santa while in the process of making his rounds and his magic is dead. Forever. Any kids who haven't yet received their presents are SOL, and Christmas is ruined for all time.
All because of one nosy little brat.
The Recon Elf is Christmas’s last line of defense.
Now, you may have noticed -if you ever saw an elf of either type- that they wear those pointy little shoes. But they aren’t all the same. The Toy makers’ shoes curl up at the toe, but not so with the Recon Elf; his shoes are pointy and straight.
With his training those two shoes are all the gear he requires. He uses these pointy shoes to kick the eyes out of any naughty little children who try to stay up late and see Santa. He doesn't want to, but he does it for you, he does it to protect Christmas.
Sometimes if you see a Recon Elf on his way home from work you will notice that his shoes have a little ball on the toe. That elf has had a hard night, give him some room.
The end.
my kids generally started asking to go to bed around 4pm on Christmas eve. no trouble at all trying to get them to go to sleep. my youngest daughter (now 16) does have a bit of an elf phobia though.
