awhile back they had this wicked beer commercial with some guy named joe canadian ranting on in a presedential type speech:
>>-I AM CANADIAN
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >(clears throat)
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >Hey.
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
>> >>> >>>> > > >and I don't live in an igloo, or eat
>> >>> >>>>blubber, or own a dogsled...
>> >>> >>>> > > >and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from
>> >>> >>>>Canada,
>> >>> >>>> > > >although I'm certain they're really, really
>> >>> >>>>nice.
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
>> >>> >>>> > > >I speak English and French, NOT American.
>> >>> >>>> > > >and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I can proudly sew my country's flag on my
>> >>> >>>>backpack.
>> >>> >>>> > > >I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
>> >>> >>>> > > >DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
>> >>> >>>> > > >AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND
>> >>> >>>>NOBLE ANIMAL.
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
>> >>> >>>>
>> >>> >>>> > > >AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE',
>> >>> >>>>'ZED'!!!
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
>> >>> >>>> > > >THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!
>> >>> >>>> > > >AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >MY NAME IS JOE!!
>> >>> >>>> > > >AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
>> >>> >>>> > > >
and now, especially for wobble:
>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I AM AMERICAN
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >Wassup...
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I'm not particularly intelligent,
>> >>> >>>>open-minded, or well-liked.
>> >>> >>>> > > >And I don't live in a safe place, eat a
>> >>> >>>>balanced diet, or drive very
>> >>> >>>> >well.
>> >>> >>>> > > >I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or
>> >>> >>>>Gutenberg, Although
>> >>> >>>> > > >I'm pretty sure they weren't American.
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I drink beer, not water,
>> >>> >>>> > > >I am outspoken, not opinionated,
>> >>> >>>> > > >Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
>> >>> >>>> > > >Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY
>> >>> >>>>thing,
>> >>> >>>> > > >And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >I can proudly sew my country's flag on my
>> >>> >>>>backpack, unless I go
>> >>> >>>> >somewhere.
>> >>> >>>> > > >Burger King IS fine dining.
>> >>> >>>> > > >Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
>> >>> >>>> > > >Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for
>> >>> >>>>breakfast,
>> >>> >>>> > > >I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE,
>> >>> >>>> > > >and WWF ACTION IS REAL!
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY
>> >>> >>>>country in the world,
>> >>> >>>> > > >The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
>> >>> >>>> > > >And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>> >>> >>>> > > >MY NAME IS JIMMY-JIM-BOB-JOE-RAY, I'm married to my
>> >>> >>>>sister,
>> >>> >>>> > > >AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!!
>> >>> >>>> > > >
>>
and guys, before you flame...this is just a JOKE, so laugh, call me an idiot, and go back to flying
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how do we know clams are really happy?
