Author Topic: "its just a game" teaching kids to lose.... (Read 1378 times)

Wanker · « **Reply #30 on:** January 31, 2001, 12:31:00 PM »

"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game".

I agree with this old, old saying. I'm a competative person, and I like to win. But it's not worth winning if I piss everyone off that I'm playing with by behaving like a jerk.

I believe in chivalry in an age when chivalry is all but dead. I like to <S> people in AH for a well-fought fight, whether I win or lose.

It all boils down to self confidence. I don't need to win all the time to feel good about myself. I have a strong sense of self worth, so I don't need to beat someone else to feel like a winner. Yes, winning feels good. But just to have the opportunity to play with you folks in the MA is a big win to me in the first place.

One thing I've noticed in some very competative people, is that they are insecure. They need to dominate someone else to feel good about themselves. I pity them, for they just don't get it.

<S>

RAM · « **Reply #31 on:** January 31, 2001, 12:51:00 PM »

I'm not saying that losing isnt a part of learning. I am the first knowing this, when I first came here I thought I would kick countless prettythanges...and found myself being shot out of the sky all the time. Loved it

.

I learned, and I am still learning. I do lose a lot of times in a lot of things, and I DO learn from the times that someone wins me at anything.

But I wont be one of the ones who says "Hey, the important thing is to compete, not to win".

IF you go to a competition, if you play a game, if you test your skill against someone's...then the goal is TO WIN. To lose is always a failure. If someone is better than you doesnt mean you CANT win him...means he will likely win you more times. BUT HE STILL CAN BE BEATEN.

I'm the first to admit that I'm not a good sport (but neither I am a bad one). I really get pissed when I die in AH, in any circunstance.

In the example we are talking about...Bassically, Santa, surrounded by 5 cons, I could have gotten out. And not by luck, but by skill. Have done it before, and will do it again (hopefully

sometime).

But happens that in that combat, in one given moment I thought that I was clear of bounces and tried to kill the F4U that had just overshoot me.

But I was wrong, and another bad guy was bouncing me. My move put my 190 still in his sights and he shot the hell out of me. I can't feel satisfied after I blew it in that way

.

Said that, yes, I was proud I had lasted for so long. Yes when I get my prettythang kicked by someone much better than me, and I have put a good fight, I am proud of it.

But if I die, if I lose, is because I have blewed it somehow, somewhere. I dont let myself fall into complacence and say "hey it's been a great fight". I think about it and find WHERE did I blew it.

To sit down after losing and thinking "I did well, winning is not important", is the best way to forget all the lessons you have just learnt

IMO

(BTW StSanta, I hope you play soccer as you play tennis because if you come here, be sure I will have a match to play...and you will be in my team AND I DONT LIKE TO LOSE!

)

StSanta · « **Reply #32 on:** January 31, 2001, 01:23:00 PM »

RAM: I suck at soccer. Haven't played it in years.

But I'm still an avid fan and any chances I get to kick a ball, I take. Gotten good at freekicks and penalties, training with my sister, who's the goalie on a team playing the women's elite division.

I'll kick your arse, and take your sisters as a price. Watch me

.

------------------
Baron Claus "StSanta" Von Ribbentroppen
9./JG 54 "Grünherz"

"I don't necessarily agree with everything I think." - A. Eldritch

Fatty · « **Reply #33 on:** January 31, 2001, 02:31:00 PM »

The problem with the win or die mentality is that when you don't win, your psyche is so intense that you cannot learn how and why you did not win. The how you play the game means that you play because you like to play <insert sport>. This does not mean less competitiveness, only a larger perspective.

I've been on losing sides, but still enjoyed myself, because even being down the competition and sport does not end. Unless you're never going to play again, you've an opportunity to continue playing against obviously a great opponent, and there is no better way to learn to get better. Usually at this point the all about winning crew rolls over and dies, while those with some pride continue to play knowing with improvement they can eventually beat the opponent.

So basically there are 2 stances...

"I want to compete with anyone, anytime, knowing I will lose some of those, because I want to compete against the best and improve."

vs

"I'm not likely going to win so there's no use in trying."

RAM · « **Reply #34 on:** January 31, 2001, 03:12:00 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Fatty:

"I want to compete with anyone, anytime, knowing I will lose some of those, because I want to compete against the best and improve."

vs

"I'm not likely going to win so there's no use in trying."

Fatty, that is somehow a good separation. But I think there is a third class:

"I will win always, and if somehow I lose, its not my fault"

(there are lots of this one

)

I am (evidently) on the first of those three classes... and of course I think its the one that should be taken by people and teached to kids...but with an addendum:

"I want to compete with anyone, anytime, knowing I will lose some of those, because I want to compete against the best and improve.I accept the inevitability of losing some times, but I wont fall in the relax of thinking "as he is better, I will lose". I want to compete. I want to win. I want to learn. Losing is a way for learning but it is avoidable and I WANT to avoid it"

With that ,I think my stance is clearly explained

[This message has been edited by RAM (edited 01-31-2001).]