Computer Problem Report Form (humor)

[Ripsnort]

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:
_____________________________ _____________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
_____________________________ _____________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
_____________________________ _____________

_____________________________ _____________

4. Problem Severity:

    A. Minor__
    B. Minor__
    C. Minor__
    D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:

    A. Locked Up__
    B. Frozen__
    C. Hung__
    D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
_____________________________ _____________

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
_____________________________ _____________

17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
_____________________________ _____________

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________

20. Tell me about your childhood. _____________________________ ______

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1 week response time so that the
problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.

[RAM]

ROTFL... HAHAHAHAHAHA...I cant stop laughingggggg...

I have one...hope you like it...its about songs...

> >Then Beatles songs.
> >
> >#Yesterday#
> >
> >Yesterday,
> >All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
> >Now my database has gone away.
> >Oh I believe in yesterday.
> >Suddenly,
> >There's not half the files there used to be,
> >And there's a milestone hanging over me
> >The system crashed so suddenly.
> >I pushed something wrong
> >What it was I could not say.
> >Now all my data's gone
> >and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
> >Yesterday,
> >The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
> >I knew my data was all here to stay,
> >Now I believe in yesterday.
> >
> >
> >#Let it Be#
> >When I find my code in tons of trouble,
> >Friends and colleagues come to me,
> >speaking words of wisdom:
> >Write in C.
> >As the deadline fast approaches,
> >And bugs are all that I can see,
> >Somewhere, someone whispers:
> >Write in C.
> >Write in C, Write in C,
> >Write in C, oh, Write in C.
> >LOGO's dead and buried,
> >Write in C.
> >I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
> >For science it worked flawlessly.
> >Try using it for graphics!
> >Write in C.
> >If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
> >Debugging some assembly,
> >Soon you will be glad to> Write in C.
> >Write in C, Write in C,
> >Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
> >BASIC's not the answer.
> >Write in C.
> >Write in C, Write in C
> >Write in C, oh, Write in C.
> >Pascal won't quite cut it.
> >Write in C.
> >
> >
> >#IMAGINE#
> >Imagine there's no Windows,
> >It's easy if you try.
> >No fatal errors or new bugs
> >To kill your hard drives.
> >Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
> >Leaving us in peace!
> >Imagine never-ending hard disks,
> >It isn't hard to do.
> >Nothing to del or wipe off
> >And no floppy too
> >Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
> >Sharing all his money.
> >You may say I'm a hacker,
> >But I'm not the only one.
> >I hope someday you'll join us
> >And your games will fit in RAM
> >Imagine 1-Giga RAM
> >I wonder if you can.
> >No need for left-shifts or set-ups
> >And no booting again and again.
> >Imagine all the systems
> >Working all life-time!
> >You may say I'm a hacker,
> >But I'm not the only one.
> >Maybe someday I'll be a cracker
> >And then I'll make Windows run.
> >
> >
> > <<Headers.822>>