Author Topic: anyone here soak corks?  (Read 2313 times)

Offline rabbidrabbit

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3907
anyone here soak corks?
« on: September 09, 2007, 11:01:03 AM »
http://www.trooker.com/FlashPlay.aspx?id=2389


Come on now, I'm sure we have some experts.  If so, mind giving some pointers to my wife?  She seems to have lost interest in the art.

Offline Meatwad

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 12793
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2007, 11:27:29 AM »
Oh man that is just so WRONG :rofl
See Rule 19- Do not place sausage on pizza.
I am No-Sausage-On-Pizza-Wad.
Das Funkillah - I kill hangers, therefore I am a funkiller. Coming to a vulchfest near you.
You cant tie a loop around 400000 lbs of locomotive using a 2 foot rope - Drediock on fat women

Offline texasmom

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6078
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2007, 11:29:49 AM »
LOL!  Had that thread been started by meatwad I may have been a little hesitant to open the link.  

Rabbit... I'm surprised to seen that one from you though.  LOL ~ I'll remember for sure next time though.:)
Pretty funny, btw.
<S> Easy8
<S> Mac

Offline rabbidrabbit

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3907
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2007, 11:37:03 AM »
What are you talking about?  You don't like wine?  I never knew it was such an art form.

Offline AKIron

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 12772
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2007, 01:31:57 PM »
Here we put salt on Margaritas, not sidewalks.

Offline Halo

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3222
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2007, 06:03:48 PM »
Reminds me of my starring role in the first grade play.  I didn't realize it was a setup until all the lecherous teachers and parents started cackling at my attempt to say the line:  "Come with me to my chamber of horrors."
                                                                                         :confused:
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. (Seneca, 1st century AD, et al)
Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty. (Anne Herbert, 1982, Sausalito, CA)
Paramedic to Perkaholics Anonymous

Offline rpm

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 15661
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2007, 10:22:59 PM »
Reminds me of an old joke.

A man walks into the unemployment office. The caseworker asks him his name and occupation.

"Sean McCoy and I'm a Cork Soaker"

The caseworker is confused until he explains he soaked corks for bottles at the winery. The caseworker tells him they have nothing for him and calls the next person up.

"Name and occupation?"

"Asa McCoy and I'm a Sock Tucker"

Again confused until Asa explains he used to tuck the socks into bags at the sock factory. The caseworker tells him they have nothing for him and calls the next person up.

"Name and occupation?"

"Angus McCoy and I'm a Coke Sacker"

Shaking his head he asks what is a Coke Sacker. Angus tells him he used to sack up coke for the furnace at the steel mill. The caseworker tells him they have nothing for him and calls the next person up.

"Name and occupation?"

"Bruce McCoy and I'm..."

The caseworker cuts him off in mid sentance "Let me guess. You're a Cork Soaker, a Sock Tucker or a Coke Sacker."

Bruce replies "No, I'm the Real McCoy!"
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Stay thirsty my friends.

Offline DREDIOCK

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 17773
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2007, 06:20:37 AM »
OUTSTANDING!
:aok :rofl :aok
Death is no easy answer
For those who wish to know
Ask those who have been before you
What fate the future holds
It ain't pretty

Offline SoulTakr

  • Copper Member
  • **
  • Posts: 159
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2007, 10:06:41 AM »
Who could forget this one?  One of my favorite movies from long ago.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmQPdW7udy8
"Deeds Not Words"

Offline Airscrew

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4808
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2007, 12:35:14 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by rpm
Reminds me of an old joke.

:rofl  which then reminds me of this joke

Sven and Ole worked together, were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office.

When asked his occupation, Sven looked the lady in the eye and said "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic on to cotton panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Ole goes in and sits down with the lady. She asked Ole his occupation. "Diesel fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave the Ole $600 a week.

When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker, Ole, was collecting double his unemployment pay.

The clerk explained, "When I looked it up, panty stitchers were unskilled laborers and diesel fitters were skilled laborers."

"What skill?" yelled Sven. "I sew the elastic on. He pulls on it and says, 'Yep, diesel fitter.' "

Offline Airscrew

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4808
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2007, 12:38:17 PM »
and this one too

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous, "You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man, "Observe!"

He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo.

Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."

(but wait, there's more...) The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, "Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot.

Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy,rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened?" the first breathlessly asked, "Who is this man?" "I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother.

Offline AWMac

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9251
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2007, 03:43:22 PM »
*Slight Irish Accent*

**Whispering**

Shhhh...down low as not to disturb the children....

There was a local Irish Monestary which whom all the Friars had a knack for raising the most Beautiful flowers for all around.

Roses, Lilacs and Lilys of multiple sorts that were far beyond anything known.

The Friars opened a Florist Shop in the nearest town, by the Moors and soon their business was blooming. People traveled form far and near to purchase the flowers.  Common folk and Royalty and such.  

This became a problem.

For the local folk within the Town that had sold flowers in the past were losing business.  Their familys going without food. So the local Florist confronted the Friars and told them... You can no longer sell your flowers here...

The Friars rebuked them and continued to sell flowers.  Again the locals came to the Friars and stated Your flowers are not Welcomed here...

Again the Friars sold Flowers...

T'was very late one dark night the locals decided that the Friars must go, for their familys hungered... All around the table it came to a vote... how to get the Friars to leave?  They picked the biggest, meanest man in the Town... Surely he would do it.... Hugh McPatrick.

The next day Hugh went into the flower shop and destroyed everything, the Roses, the Lilacs, Lillys and all multiple sorts of flowers and bushes... a sight that would make any Mother cry and.... the Friars had left... never to return again.....







Moral of the Story:






Only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.


:D

Mac
« Last Edit: September 10, 2007, 04:13:06 PM by AWMac »

Offline Airscrew

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4808
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2007, 04:06:33 PM »
:lol  and a gem within a gem "A florist shop and business was blooming..."

Offline AWMac

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9251
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2007, 04:09:27 PM »
This man returns to his dentist after 30 days of recieving beautiful work and the Dentist is agast....

"What the hell happened to the plates and work I've done?"  

Apparently it was just wasted.  Really bad off.

The man replied that his wife makes the best Hollandaise Sauce and he put it on everything... Morning, Noon and Night!  He can't live without it.

The Dentist replies that he'll have to replace the plates with Chrome ones
then....

The man replies "Chrome??? Why Chrome?"......




Moral of the Story:




Because....





"There's no Plates like Chrome for the Hollandaise."




*hittin the door runnin....*


:rofl


Mac

Offline AWMac

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9251
anyone here soak corks?
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2007, 04:10:57 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Airscrew
:lol  and a gem within a gem "A florist shop and business was blooming..."


LOL some people read... others draw pictures...

I'm glad you caught the pun within the story.

:aok

Mac