Only a few planes had auto-deploying flaps, one of them being the N1k2 (if I recall), and I personally wouldn't WANT them to automatically deploy every time they hit a certain AoA. That would totally screw up what you want to do. Like flying with combat trim on it might be nice for beginners (which is what it was designed for -- inexperienced "green" pilots thrown up against the US aces), but for those that know what they're doing it'd hinder more than help.
Arguments for auto-retract have been made before. I think we'd hear endless nonstop whining about snapping-off-flaps if they just broke off (oh, and jammed into place with the way AH models them popping off!) when they reached their limit. Not to mention the nonstop whines HTC has pointed out would happen about "they wouldn't snap off at the limit! They'd have a tolerance way past that!" and so forth.
If you were so desperate in a fight that you needed your flaps and sped up past their deployment speed, and then all of a sudden decelerated so fast you need them out again, then you might want to rethink your dogfighting tactics. You're probably more a threat to yourself than to the enemy (no offense meant, just pointing out a possibility). EDIT: This didn't come out right. What I mean is that I've had my flaps retract on me many times and have never been so harried that I have to jump/react with lightning speed to get them out again. There's always time enough to hit the "flaps down" button again.
Given the alternative, I prefer auto-retract. I never have any problems hearing when they go back in (turn your flaps sound up or go back to default), and most planes I can look out the wing or have easily visible flaps meters (most, not all are easily visible).