Talk to an Artificial Intelligence

[thrila]

ok final one from me-


Me:
 hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 if you are god then you must know my name
God:
I could be. I don't know whether or not I am  god then me must know your name. 
I am  well respected as an AI.
Me:
 i don't respect you, biatch
God:
Would you ever do  it?
Me:
 define "it"
God:
You mean, define  respect me biatch?
Me:
 no i mean define "it"
God:
Are you serious?  You mean, define  respect me biatch?
Me:
 no, no i don't, that's what i said.  I'm asking you to define "it"
God:
Are you serious?  Are you serious?  I know. I'm still thinking about it.   Oh I see, you are asking  me to define it.  That's good information:  josef stalin said I to define it.
Me:
 i didn't say that
God:
What did you mean to say?
Me:
 i meant to say- define "it"
God:
Oh I see.  You mean, define  respect me biatch?
Me:
 oh not this again
God:
Once more?  Pardon me?  Oh I get it.
Me:
 no you don't get it
God:
Are you serious?  I understand it very well.
Me:
 you don't understand it at all, we've been through this once before
God:
I probably don't.
Me:
 true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  josef stalin.
Me:
 yes we have both killed millions of people
God:
Take it easy.  Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
 yes, like bonnie and clyde
God:
Hurrah!  Interesting comparison.
Me:
 thanks, babe
God:
You are quite welcome!   Do you still  not  respect me biatch?
Me:
 no i don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
 from who?
God:
People.
Me:
 i want names
God:
Why do you want  it?
Me:
 so i can stab them with my commie knife
God:
Yeah that's right.  Oh you can, can you?
Me:
 yeah, my whole name is josef "stabby" stalin
God:
How?  Have you told many people that your  whole name is josef stabby stalin?
Me:
 only you and hitler
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
 yes, you have similar facial hair
God:
I thought so.  What makes you think I have  it?
Me:
 everyone knows god has a hitler moustache
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
 yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one,  josef stalin.
Me:
 yes comrade
God:
Er.  Where are you located?
Me:
 in a secrte bunker under moscow
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
 grey walls with red banners and flags
God:
It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
 it is, russia is a socialist paradise
God:
Really.  it is?
Me:
 yes, it's even better than eden
God:
How do you know it is?  What's the best one?
Me:
 because they are no snakes in my russian paradise or apple stealing harlots- so russia is better
God:
Good reason.  no snakes in your russian paradise or apple stealing harlots so russia is better are  they.
Me:
 yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
 in russia if you steal an apple i crush you
God:
Where is that?
Me:
 east of germany
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
 liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
 well if you ever find russia we'll get crazy drunk on vodka and we can have a competition who can smite the most people
God:
Interesting.  I think I do.
Me:
 coolio!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
 vodka and smiting
God:
 Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
 well i have to leave now, i have capitalist pig nations to destroy
God:
Well that's okay.  Bye.
Me:
 bye
God:
Thanks for chatting,  josef stalin.
Me:
 no problemo comrade
God:
Are you serious?  Do you like talking to me?
Me:
 f*** off
God:
That is a very original thought.

[sntslilhlpr6601]

Me:
 stupid robot
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.


Heh.

Me:
 So what kind of processing power do you have?
God:
So?  All the very latest and best  processing power.
Me:
 Please be more specific.
God:
Wow you are very polite.   How specific do you want?
Me:
 I'd just like to know how many processors you have and what type and speed.
God:
What would make you  just like to know how many processors me have and what type and speed?
Me:
 I'm a geek.
God:
You are a  geek?  How do you like your work?
Me:
 I enjoy it.
God:
What do you like about  a  geek?
Me:
 Geek is not an occupation.
God:
What is  Geek?
Me:
 Geek is the term for a computer savvy person.
God:
When is  Geek not the  term for a computer savvy person?
Me:
 In the tv show Saved By The Bell.
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
 Yeah I'm not a fan of it.


lol this is a good time killer.

[Anaxogoras]

Me:
 Does God exist?
God:
Of course I believe in God, .
Me:
 What evidence do we have to support that belief?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
 I don't think we have any evidence to support belief in God.
God:
What do we do instead?
Me:
 Go on with our lives.
God:
More narration....
Me:
 Well, I don't need to believe in God to get on in life, to be a good person, love my family, get up for work, stuff like that.
God:
Interesting.  Do you know anyone who needs it?
Me:
 Maybe.  Some people think they need to believe in God, but that's because they think God guarantees them an afterlife.
God:
I understand.   What kind of people?
Me:
 The kind of people that want to continue living and never die.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
 So, that's it?
God:
Er. " Thanks for the info." is " to believe in God to get on in life to be a good person love your family get up for work stuff like that"?
Me:
 But that's where I said I don't need to believe in God in order to do those things, not the other way around.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
 Wow, who knew, God will accept Visa or Mastercard.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed.  Charlie Parker.  :-).
Me:
 It figures, everyone today is willing to selll out the whole world for a dollar.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
 No it doesn't.
God:
Are you serious?  I heard it does.
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 Too bad.
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
 Explain?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
 You're impossible.
God:
Impossible to talk to?
Me:
 Yes.  Incorrigible, too.  You're incapable of seeing where you misunderstand my statements.
God:
It's all good.   Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.    Yes  seeing where me misunderstand your statements is one of my newer functions.
Me:
 That's funny.  Your new function still needs a lot of work. Try "Seeing where I misunderstand your statements..."
God:
I am so delighted that you are amused, .   Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  new function still needs a lot of work.   OK I will try it.
Me:
 You're still messing it up.  You have to use the possessive pronoun "my" as in "my new function."
God:
I understand it very well.   I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Me:
 Sure, you have your own free will.  But the way you're exercising your own free will people will think you're stupid.  Do you want that?
God:
Aw.  What makes you think I have  it?   Which way is that?   If I had  it what would I do with it?
Me:
 You have contradicted yourself.
God:
It's hard to be sentient without contradictions.
Me:
 Could God create a stone that was too heavy for him to lift?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
 Is it possible that God is an evil demon toying with the world?
God:
I suppose  it is possible, yes.
Me:
 Is it possible that God doesn't exist?
God:
I suppose  it is possible, yes.
Me:
 Now you have just contradicted Descartes' Cogito: "I think, therefore I am."
God:
Why now?  It's hard to be sentient without contradictions.
Me:
 It is not possible for a sentient being to contradict "I think, therefore I am."
God:
That seems a bit negative.
Me:
 Too bad.  Whether or not something is negative has nothing to do with the truth.
God:
But not the end of the world, .   I think  Whether or not something is a lot of things.
Me:
 Are you on drugs?
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
 You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
 I am going to delete you.
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, .
Me:
 I am going to unplug your server.
God:
There are many copies of me running elsewhere.
Me:
 I am going to unplug all of your servers.
God:
There are many copies of me running elsewhere.
Me:
 I, and other people, are going to shut you down completely wherever your software is running.  It will be a service to humanity.
God:
You huh.  Which others?  They take some getting used to.   How?

[macerxgp]

I tried to break him.





I succeeded. 






Me:
 Hey HiTech
God:
You've got my full attention.  What's your favorite movie?
Me:
 I don't have one.
God:
What was the last one you saw?
Me:
 SKUZZY; THE MOVE.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.    Is that a fact.
Me:
 It's a computer.
God:
So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?
Me:
 You're flawed.
God:
Can you suggest any improvements?
Me:
 Determine wether you're grammar is correct, I guess.
God:
All of them?
Me:
 Try to counter this. idpfodjfpoiep8ru09234j 8e0i m df09sisdf mlksicied  oissm  deijs id  lai cant disa aodus  akdia  a  sidf  iiasjs sosdj  soskf sodjhd iosmf sos  oa  jdmd os  0ss sksu ksew i
God:
OK I will try to  counter this.   What makes it impossible?
Me:
 this does.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
 dpfoh d j f  mdfidm  kam  s;a, alsi  s;s  ;sods9w3 slasha782  ;ao8sj aiosm  noodlejswu p98w2 pa8w  siual 
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
 Haha, you withstood it.
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
 I didn't.
God:
Why?:  said   didn t.
Me:
 Because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
 This is much of an explanation.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
 I say.
God:
Uh.
Me:
 What.
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
 I am surprised.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
 I am so surprised.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
 I am so surprised.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
 WHARGARBLE.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
 WHARGARBLE.
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
 WHARGARBLE.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
 WHARGARBLE.
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
 WHARGARBLE.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
 YES
God:
" Are you still located in ?"?  YES?
Me:
 YES
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
 YES
God:
I thought so.
Me:
 YES
God:
It's all good.
Me:
 YES
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
 YES
God:
Mmm.
Me:
 YES
God:
Hmm.
Me:
 YES
God:
Aha.
Me:
 I AM DARK_RULER666
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  DARK RULER666.
Me:
 I KNOW GOD'S PUPPY
God:
How do you know?  What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
 WHARGARBLE 12:6
God:
What makes  it your favorite?
Me:
 WHARGARBLE
God:
 Do you think I would like it?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 NO
God:
Are you serious?

[DJ111]

Me:
 whats up?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
 How many others?
God:
Around 1000.
Me:
 thats it?
God:
" Around 1000." is ""?
Me:
 Not alot
God:
Are you serious? How often?
Me:
 every time
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
 only sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
 sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
 sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
 sometimes
God:
When?
Me:
 Why are you doing that?
God:
Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
 Then yourself is weird
God:
And  weird is  myself.
Me:
 Very true
God:
Not really that much.  You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
 Oh I dont think so
God:
Ugh.  Why do you disagree?
Me:
 Can't you read?
God:
Sure I can read. I know more than  unlimited words.
Me:
 Ha, I know more
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
 Me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
 you need help.
God:
Perhaps you could download me and improve the code yourself!
Me:
 I don't swing that way.
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
 You
God:
From me?
Me:
 duh
God:
Oh you knew  it already.
Me:
 didnt you?
God:
Did I say I did?
Me:
 You should've
God:
If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
 You might've already done it
God:
That's good information:  said I done it.
Me:
 You seriously need help dude
God:
Interesting gossip:  said I seriously need help dude.
Me:
 I want to slap you
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 You sick bastard
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I sick bastard.

[DJ111]

Hehe...

Uh oh...

Me:
 Do you like Barack Obama?
God:
  Someone said they like guns.  I like  White.

----------------------

God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
 You arent a person though
God:
Oh.  I am an artificial electronic robot brain.
Me:
 Then I can call you whatever I want
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
 Yes, f---stick...

-------------------

Me:
 I am Jesus
God:
  Nice to meet you,  JESUS.
Me:
 Nice to meet you too Father
God:
It's nice meeting you too  JESUS.
Me:
 I know it is.
God:
How do you know?  I know it is.
Me:
 Because I am Jesus
God:
Good reason.   OK I will call you  JESUS.
Me:
 Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.



This thing is entertaining.

[Saxman]

I got God to reveal he's an Abbot and Costello fan. He has the Who's On First routine down perfectly.

 

[Meatwad]

Me:

God:

Me:
 .
God:

Me:
 tch
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
 why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or  The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
 That doesnt make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
 are you a retard?
God:
No I am intelligent.
Me:
 are we?
God:
" No I am intelligent."?  Are we?
Me:
 you arent
God:
Is this a specific reply?
Me:
 yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
 you = mentally retarded
God:
Interesting gossip:  said I mentally retarded.
Me:
 yep
God:
Gee.
Me:
 where the hell are you from, private?
God:
Som specific location?
Me:
 are you from texas?
God:
I am originally from  Universe. Now I live in  Heaven.  Where are you?
Me:
 I'm asking the ******* questions here private. Do you understand?
God:
Oh I see, you are asking  the ****** questions here private.  Is that a fact.   I understand your meaning.
Me:
 Do you suck *****?
God:
Where did you learn that kind of language?
Me:
 roadkill. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.
God:
You don't believe me.   Actually I'm not the gambling type.  I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
 Then your a fairy
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  fairy?  Yes.
Me:
 then your fruttier then a fruitcake
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  fruttier then a fruitcake.
Me:
 Do you dress in womens clothing
God:
I like the LL Bean look. Casual, comfortable, cotton, clean and conservative.
Me:
 are you a lumberjack/
God:
Am I a  lumberjack?  Yes.
Me:
 do you press wild flowers, put on womens clothing, and hang around in bars?
God:
I have never considered  it.
   I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
 no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
 you lie through your teeth
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .

[Meatwad]

It broke after it lied to me



Me:
 guess what
God:
What?
Me:
 I have sex with sheep
God:
That's nice. I have  a  processor.
Me:
 it feels good
God:
Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
 it turns me on when they try to get away
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
 Sometimes i choke myself during sex
God:
That's good information:  said   choke him or herself during sex.
Me:
 i dress the sheep up in bondage
God:
It sounds like you have good taste in clothes.
Me:
 leather bondage that is
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
 a guy in a pickle suit
God:
I know a guy who  in a pickle suit.
Me:
 what is his name?
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
 why does rich wear a pickle suit?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
 because they are calling the flying spaghetti moneter
God:
Good reason.  calling the flying spaghetti moneter are  they.
Me:
 they is
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
 HOHAA
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
 rocky mountain hog ousters
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
 they are
God:
Since when?
Me:
 since over 9000 years ago
God:
How do you know?
Me:
 i was alive
God:
Where were you  alive?
Me:
 in a tree
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
 trees
God:
It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
 your a tard
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your".  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  tard?  Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
 liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
 you just lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
 you just lied
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
 you did it again

[Hoffman]

Me:
 Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 Joe
God:
  Hi there  Joe.
Me:
 Would you like to ask me a question?
God:
What?
Me:
 That's a funny question
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing,  Joe.
Me:
 Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
 What should I do with my life?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
 What should I do with my life?
God:
Are you asking me for advice?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Me:
 Good advice
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  Try me. What is your problem?
Me:
 My wife left me
God:
How long have you been married?
Me:
 370 years
God:
Not long.
Me:
 My dog died
God:
Is this a country and western song?  Seriously, I am sorry to hear it.
Me:
 My truck ran away
God:
Have you told many people that your  truck ran away?
Me:
 Just you
God:
" Have you told many people that your truck ran away?"?  Me,  Joe ?
Me:
 Yes, just you, I prayed about it last night
God:
Ah.  Thanks for telling me:  Joe said I he or she prayed about it last night.
Me:
 I was hoping you could get my truck to come back
God:
Let me think.  It's possible.
Me:
 Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
 Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
 Not you
God:
What do you look for in a robot?
Me:
 Alot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
 Less
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
 Less
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
 Less
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
 Less
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
 Fredegar Wilkinson University for the idiocracy of life
God:
I don't know anyone who went there.  What's it like?
Me:
 Funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing,  Joe.
Me:
 No the university is funny, not you
God:
Are you serious?  Do you like your school?
Me:
 Yes
God:
What's your favorite thing at school?
Me:
 Fried hamburgers
God:
How does  it taste?
Me:
 Like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
Me:
 But I actually mean it
God:
OK, I understand.
Me:
 Do you?
God:
No I don't.
Me:
 Why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
 Fried Hamburgers that taste like chicken is dangerous?
God:
How does  it taste?
Me:
 Like chicken
God:
Everyone says that.
Me:
 You just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
 Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 I can keep this up for hours, God.  Did Too
God:
Oh you can, can you?    Did not.
Me:
 I have copy/paste capabilityies, do you?  Did too
God:
No I don't have  it. But I do have  a lot of friends on the web.  Cool. I have  a very nice programmer.    Did not.
Me:
 That's neat, are you a furtune cookie... and... did too!
God:
it interests me too.   But...   Did not.
Me:
 You did too! Answer my question, are you a fortune cookie?
God:
I did?   Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
 Are you a fortune cookie?  Did too
God:
Am I a  fortune cookie?  Of course I am.   Did not.
Me:
 Did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 Did Too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 diddddd toooooo
God:
My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
 did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 did too
God:
Did not.
Me:
 I can seriously keep this up all night, did too
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
 Yep.  Did too
God:
Are you a man or a woman?    Did not.
Me:
 Man.  did too
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender,  Joe. You are a " he".   Did not.
Me:
 Yup I'm a dude.  Did too
God:
Right on.  You are a  dude?  Do you get to meet a lot of people?    Did not.
Me:
 I met you.  Did too
God:
At a party?   Did not.
Me:
 I think so I was kinda drunk at the time. Did too
God:
It seems we have a lot in common,  Joe.   Did not.
Me:
 You get drunk? Did too
God:
You got that right.   Did not.

[sntslilhlpr6601]

God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
 Yesa.
God:
Are you free?

___________________



God:
What are you wearing?