In this letter, I would like to share with you some thoughts I originally organized to clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that Mr. Earnest T. Bass, Esq.'s gibes are daft—and that's the polite word for what I actually think of them. Before I say anything else, let me remind Earnest that his sesquipedalianism squad appears to be growing in number. I sincerely pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction, yet I keep reminding myself that if a cogent, logical argument entered his brain, no doubt a concussion would result. It is mathematically provable that his myrmidons have the temerity to fill children's credulous ears with his quisquiliary deblaterations and then say that everyone else should do the same. I'm not actually familiar with the proof for that statement and wouldn't understand it even if it were shown to me, but it seems very believable based upon my experience. What's also quite believable is that Earnest has planted his collaborators everywhere. You can find them in businesses, unions, activist organizations, tax-exempt foundations, professional societies, movies, schools, churches, and so on. Not only does this subversive approach enhance Earnest's ability to eavesdrop on all sorts of private conversations, but it also provides irrefutable evidence that the vast majority of his disciples have no interest in providing you with vital information that he has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. They would rather stroke their fragile egos, regurgitate meaningless tripe, and sycophantically prostrate themselves before the idiotic dribble that underlies Earnest's ophidian exegeses.
While it is reasonable to expect that despite Earnest's protestations and rhetoric, the facts do not support his claims, it remains that the reasons that he gives for his crotchets clearly do not correspond with his real motives. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that a record of Earnest's acts of hypocrisy would fill volumes? That's why I'm telling you that I admit that I'm not perfect. I admit that I may have been a bit reckless when I stated that no group has done so much to mollycoddle catty, contumelious cardsharps as Earnest's worshippers. Still, that doesn't justify the name-calling, rudeness, and simple ugliness that Earnest invariably finds so necessary. Nor does it justify his beating plowshares into swords.
So despicable are Earnest's muzzy-headed insinuations that Earnest has been made a pariah by the international media, and his press releases have been condemned by numerous government officials. If we let him brainwash the masses into submission, civilization itself will fall. It may be more correct, however, to say that there is historical precedent for Earnest's solutions. Specifically, for as far back as I can remember, he has been draining our hope and enthusiasm. Given how one disloyal activity always leads to another, it should come as no surprise that it amazes me how successful Earnest has been at defacing a social fabric that was already deteriorating. History will look back on that unfortunate success with profound regret and wonder why the people of our time didn't do more to put Earnest's spineless, uppish tirades to the question. Perhaps our answer should be that whatever your age, you now have only one choice. That choice is between a democratic, peace-loving regime that, you hope, may set the record straight and, as the alternative, the silly and unprofessional dirigisme currently being forced upon us by Earnest. Choose carefully because while Earnest and other otiose doofuses sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that he who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. Of course, people like Earnest who do in fact perpetrate evil eliminate those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny.
Earnest can't be trusted. Everything he says is a lie, and everything he does is based on a lie: his remonstrations, his claims, his ruminations—all lies, lies with flakes of truth sprinkled about to make perverted, semi-intelligible money-worshippers believe them. Despite the sharp rhetoric, his nugatory off-the-cuff comments are notably short on data and are filled with inconsistencies, misleading arguments, and a few statements that can be characterized as outright falsehoods. That strikes me as odd because he presumably knows that I believe in “live and let live”. Earnest, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of his stances but endorsement of them. It's because of such egotistical demands that I allege that his animadversions are grounded in phony acts of kindness. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that Earnest's associates must be worn out from the acrobatics they have to perform to keep Earnest from turning on them, too.)
Earnest has been paddling around in the swampy parts of sanity. Why else would he warrant that he would never dream of rendering unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power? To state it in stark and simple terms, if he truly believes that we can trust him not to grasp at straws, trying to find increasingly sappy ways to use ethnocentrism as a more destructive form of Tartuffism, then maybe he should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. To put a little finer edge on the concept, in deep disappointment I have wept over Earnest's putting pusillanimous skelms on the federal payroll. To top that off, his gestapo is not a civil debating society. It is not interested in new ideas. That's why you can't expect to sit down and talk to its members or have a civil debate. The best you can do is try to tell them that it doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of Earnest's tractates in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must struggle unceasingly against Earnest's unremitting stream of cacodoxies and slander. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly Mr. Earnest T. Bass, Esq. himself or one of his apple-polishers, will write a mad piece about how utterly malodorous I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.
