A tourist walked into a Texas pet store and was
looking at the animals on display. While he was
there, a State Representative walked in and said to
the shopkeeper, "I'll take a Highway Patrol monkey,
please."
The man nodded, went to a cage at the side of the
store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and
leash on the animal and handed it to the Rep,
saying, "That'll be $1,000." The Rep paid and left
with the monkey.
Surprised, the tourist went to the shopkeeper and
said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of
them are only a few hundred dollars.
Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that HP monkey, he
can run a radar, investigate simple accidents, guard
a perimeter during a riot situation and occassionaly
locate some illegal drugs. It's well worth the
money."
The tourist spotted a monkey in another cage.
"That one's even more expensive--$10,000! What does
it do?"
"Oh, that one is a License & Weight monkey; it can
do everything the HP monkey can plus it can enforce
State weight law, conduct all levels of inspection
on commercial motor vehicles, is well versed in the
enforcement of the Federal Motor Carrier Regulations
and even do most of the paperwork. A very useful
monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around a little longer and
found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read,
"$50,000". The shocked tourist exclaimed,"That one
costs more than all the others put together! What in
the world could it do?"
"Well, I've never actually seen him do a damned
thing but drink beer and play with his dick, but his
papers say he's a Ranger."
