I've been keeping a wary eye on folks around me these days. This weekend I was shocked to find that one of them may exist right under my very nose and be subliminally telling my kids to kill me. Everybody knows about Barney and who couldn't see through the simpering blandness of the Teletubbies to their real intent. I'm not talking about them. This weekend, on the advice of until now trusted friends, we bought our kids a Raffi video. For those of you who don't know, Raffi is a kiddy minstrel who specializes in tree hugging inane songs about the earth and nature. Initially, I suspected he was working for the WTO but then I looked a little closer and noted his swarthy visage. He talked between songs about "kids getting together" to protect the earth. I'm pretty sure that's code for organizing terrorist cells. Further, he has a song about a whale called "Baby Beluga". He tried to cover up the true message in the song by saying that there used to be thousands of whales in the St. Lawrence, but now, given the pollution, they are endangered. My kids really seemed to like this song so I reviewed it closely and eventually noted that the title of the song, spelled in reverse is, "Aguleb Ybab". I don't have a terrorist dictionary but this sure sound like the name of one of those beetle browed madmen the Feds have been looking for.
