London (Reuters). February 23, 1945. - In what many observers are calling a surprise move, the Allied forces in Europe this evening surrendered unconditionally to Germany.
"Frankly, we don't know why we surrendered," remarked one American infantry commander. "You know, after this Bulge business, we really thought we had them on the run."
German sources appeared equally baffled by the news. "We have seen nothing but two-to-one odds for the very longest time," said Unteroffizier Urchin. "Many of my fliers are depressed after facing swarms of Allied planes over and over again." His face brightened. "On the other hand, we now all get medals, which in the Luftwaffe we refer to as 'perkies'."
One member of the German high command speculated, "Perhaps the Allied commanders made their decision after watching only the first hour of a 'Battle of the Bulge' rerun?"
Informed sources at SHAEF Headquarters in London, who asked not to be identified, spoke of a more sinister cause. "It was Shane. He was being so mean to us. We had to end it, was all."
Surrender ceremonies are scheduled to take place in New York City next week.
So what was with that "You have won the war" message last night? First time I ever saw such a thing in the CT.
- oldman