Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
* I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they
throw it up
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
* I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
they are tasty, they are not food.
* The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
* The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
* The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
* I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
* Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying "hello.'
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under
the coffee table.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
house.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
* I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch
when company is over.
* The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Dear God:
May I have my testicles back?
