"Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works !
I've busted my a** for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady b***** because I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a**h**** from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little s****
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of you yo yo's--No request for them! ,
They want computers and robots. They think--I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat a** and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season!
Author Unknown
