Author Topic: Things I've learned as a father (Read 883 times)

Ripsnort · « **on:** April 18, 2001, 11:35:00 AM »

No matter how hard your kids try, they can't baptize cats.

If one brother hits the other, I've told my sons "don't hit back"... I always always catch the second person.

Never ask your 2-year old son to hold a tomato.(or, an egg for that matter)

You can't trust dogs to watch your kids food.

Reading what kids write on desks,walls, computer cases can teach you a lot...don't leave pens out unattended.

Don't sneeze when Dad is cutting your hair.

Never allow the kids to hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

Kids can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don't let boys wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Eagler · « **Reply #1 on:** April 18, 2001, 11:40:00 AM »

good lessons

Eagler

Ripsnort · « **Reply #2 on:** April 18, 2001, 11:41:00 AM »

Add some of your own, I'm always learning each and every day!

Cougar68 · « **Reply #3 on:** April 18, 2001, 03:27:00 PM »

ANY ball, no matter how small and soft it is, is capable of knocking any fragile object off of it's perch when thrown higher than two inches.

A child can carry a glass of water around the entire house without spilling a drop. A glass of cherry Kool-Aid, however, will immediately spill onto the lightest colored rug in the house.

Brat · « **Reply #4 on:** April 18, 2001, 03:42:00 PM »

You can try to teach your child to say anything you want...but he'll only repeat the words you screamed when you stubbed your toe...and he'll repeat them over...and over...and over.

You can take a child to bathroom...but you can't make him pee.

Your son can get anything he wants from your girlfriends...you on the other hand can only squeak about the fact that he can.

Never start a sentence with "Whatever you do...don't..." This is the equivelant of me telling you, not to think of a banana.

Your children are smarter than you could ever imagine and before spanking them the second time, check for sharp objects hidden in the back of their pants.

You don't want to know EVERYTHING you child has done...some things are better left to the unknown.

Pongo · « **Reply #5 on:** April 18, 2001, 06:44:00 PM »

Locks on the master bed room are a very good idea.
A stick is pretty much the best toy ever made.
People without children really dont understand.
Dishonest kids have a huge advantage at school.
WW2 fighter models look more real with the landing gear and prop blades broken off.
Very young kids can easily detect idiots.
There are a million ways to tell your dad to put his seat belt on.

NUTTZ · « **Reply #6 on:** April 18, 2001, 07:47:00 PM »

Buy them an expensive toy, and they have more fun with the box it came in

Never! NEVER! toss your daughter your wallet and tell her " take what you need"

Kids can break their arm and be out playing 15 minutes later, Stub their toe and they need 2 days off from school

AND never ever under any circumstances tell em about AH

Tommy Hilfiger fleece top $89.00 US

Same fleece (noname) $19.99 US...DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BUYING THIS, unless it's your size

Buy them a Dog, then they want a cat, buy the cat they want a hamster, buy the hamster , they want a guine pig, buy the pig, they want a parrot, buy the parrot, they want trombone lessons, buy the trombone , they want karate lessons, buy the karate lessons, they want a guitar, buy the guitar , they want a car.... hey wait that was me, sorry, where were we?

NUTTZ

NUTTZ · « **Reply #7 on:** April 18, 2001, 07:50:00 PM »

Actually what i've learned ..
A kiss and hug, supportive dialect go a long long way

NUTTZ

skernsk · « **Reply #8 on:** April 18, 2001, 10:00:00 PM »

Don't say F*ck near a child learning how to talk or it will be it's first word.

When doing home repairs...always keep one eye on the toolbox. And as a further precaution make sure all plugins have covers.

Don't tell them what you bought mommy for Christmas.

Don't bother taking them to emergency for "stitches" they just glue them together now....keep a tube of crazy glue handy at all times.

[This message has been edited by skernsk (edited 04-18-2001).]

Sunchaser · « **Reply #9 on:** April 18, 2001, 10:52:00 PM »

It is way easier than being a Mother.

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When did they put this thing in here and WTF is it for?

leonid · « **Reply #10 on:** April 19, 2001, 04:08:00 AM »

Keeping your 1 yr old's finger nails trimmed drastically reduces facial lacerations...

Ripsnort · « **Reply #11 on:** April 19, 2001, 08:13:00 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Pongo:
Locks on the master bed room are a very good idea.
A stick is pretty much the best toy ever made.
People without children really dont understand.
WW2 fighter models look more real with the landing gear and prop blades broken off.
Very young kids can easily detect idiots.
There are a million ways to tell your dad to put his seat belt on.

GAWD PONGO, these REALLY hit home!

StSanta · « **Reply #12 on:** April 19, 2001, 08:14:00 AM »

LOL

sounds like being a parent is quite an adventure.

I've begun to better understand the joys such a thing can bring from watching my brothers two twin girls. They're way cool

.

But, still another 10-20 years til I'm mature enough to take care of anyone but myself (and i barely manage that

).

Good ones rip

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Von Santa
Staffelkapitän 9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
"If you return from a mission with a victory, but without your Rottenflieger, you have lost your battle."
- D. Hrabak, JG 54 "Grünherz"

skernsk · « **Reply #13 on:** April 19, 2001, 04:29:00 PM »

One I just thought of:

My dad was pretty dam good after all. If I am half as good as he was I'll be ok. Thanks Dad!

sling322 · « **Reply #14 on:** April 19, 2001, 05:07:00 PM »

Oh jeez skernsk.....bleeeech.

You tryin' ta git kicked outta tha squad or whut?

Seriously though....no kids myself yet, but I have learned a thing or two from my nephews (age 6 and 2)

The correct answer to every "Why" question is..... because.