The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in astraight line between any two parts of the general's
body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to
the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000. When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was
asked where to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my noodle to the bottom of my testicles." The pension man suggested that perhaps the
Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received.
The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the
tape on the tip of the general's noodle and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."
