One hell of a Woman..

[Hangtime]

My date explained to me the other day she had an idea while we were out to dinner. I think we were talking about what a crummy mood she's in all the time... she said, "Honey; you have no idea how lucky you guys are we just don't just kill you morons outright when we reach 40."

She then told me she'd like to go to Afghanistan and kick a lil ass... "Hey; don't laff at me... why in hell do you men think you should have all the fun?..."

When she emailed me this today I was less surprised than I was impressed. To know her; is to love her...

 

Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes
naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.
And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of  Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain!  

I've unloaded the Mossberg, and stored it under the nail polish remover.

[ 10-25-2001: Message edited by: Hangtime ]

[Raubvogel]

We wouldn't even have to arm them. They could just nag 'em all to death.

[hblair]

Raub speaks wisdom.

[pimpjoe]

give em the hormones they have when they're pregnant....garentee wont no rag head mess with them then

[Voss]

Let's just hold a contest and find the worst uh, "woman at menopause stage" in the country and send her over. I know from experience that all it takes is one.  

[StSanta]

ROFL!

[LtHans]

I've actually considered the idea of the Post-Taliban government having the law that only Afgan women can vote.

You think American women are mad?

Hans.

[AKDejaVu]

Too bad we can't send them over prior to menopause... but an army that only fights 4 days a month isn't all too effective.

AKDejaVu

[pugg666]

ahh but that all depends on how effective they are during those 4 days

[Pongo]

fess up Hang..you wrote that..
Or you have found a woman as eloquent as you with a very simular sence of humour....
Im old enough to chalk that up as impossible.

[ 10-26-2001: Message edited by: Pongo ]

[ 10-26-2001: Message edited by: Pongo ]

[Nifty]

naw, Hang didn't write it, unless he's been emailing it before sharing with us.  In which case we'll flog him and he's never allowed to fly the Pony again.  

I gotta friend who's pregnant and her mom is going through menopause.  Those two alone could take out the Taliban in 48 hrs!  

[Ripsnort]

Let's just send them our recycle
 

[Boroda]

A joke from the 80-s:

On an Afghan road a Mullah meets a righteous Moslim, who goes carrying a giant bag on his back, following his wife.

-"What do I see!? According to Mohammed it's YOU who has to walk first, with your wife carrying all the stuff after you!"

-"You're right, Mullah, but in the times of Mohammed there were no mines on Afghan roads!"

[Scot]

Ok ... Ok whats going on here  
 http://agw.dogfighter.com/agw//Forum3/HTML/024342.html

<S>
Scot
3./JG2

[Hangtime]

Looks to me like a female conspiracy!!!