Author Topic: how do you cope (Read 642 times)

Udie · « **on:** November 19, 2001, 11:13:00 AM »

I'm lost guys. My best friend at work died this Saturday. I've dreaded coming to work all weekend and now I'm here. I look over at his empy cube and it freakin hurts bad. We were supposed to bowl on Sunday. All his projects must be taken over with him not here to answer questions.

Depression has set in 100% and I don't know what to do. Too much has happened in the last 2 months I don't know if I can handle much more.

AKSWulfe · « **Reply #1 on:** November 19, 2001, 11:20:00 AM »

Wish I could say something insightful or inspiring.

Unfortuntely the only way to cope is to mourn for a long time, but try to see it in a positive aspect.
-SW

Seeker · « **Reply #2 on:** November 19, 2001, 11:30:00 AM »

If you had plans this weekend, and he's already gone, then I take it his time of suffering was short.

Which is all any of us can ask for, we all know where we're going.

Remember him, and give thanks that you had a friend, as did he.

Apache · « **Reply #3 on:** November 19, 2001, 11:53:00 AM »

Udie, the body of your friend is all that is gone but he lives on does he not? Remember him. Hell, even talk to him, he's your friend and I bet he is listening

As with the passing of my dad this past September, once the initial pain subsided, my dad's happiness is what I think about. He is in pain no more.

<S> My friend.

AKDejaVu · « **Reply #4 on:** November 19, 2001, 11:55:00 AM »

Focus on being more thankfull he was your friend... and less on his loss. And nobody said that is an easy thing to do.

AKDejaVu

Hangtime · « **Reply #5 on:** November 19, 2001, 12:07:00 PM »

'coping' is what the media does.

Living is what we do.

Your pal would NOT wish his passing to be a burden, would he?

So; honor his memory by doing what needs to be done; by priorities; in a professional manner. Don't cheat yourself or him of the lives you had and have.

Go for it.

And, god bless u Udie. <S!>

Ripsnort · « **Reply #6 on:** November 19, 2001, 12:30:00 PM »

Sorry to hear that Udie.

Eagler · « **Reply #7 on:** November 19, 2001, 12:30:00 PM »

sorry to hear about your loss Udie

as someone said, "Time heals all wounds" .. crappy but true.

if you drink, dont - alcohol only makes it worse - take it from someone who knows. lost my mother and little (only) brother within a 6 month period. '89 was my toejamty year.

Pray for and talk to your buddy, he's listening. They live in our memories.

take care

skernsk · « **Reply #8 on:** November 19, 2001, 01:01:00 PM »

Sorry to hear that Udie. I lost my mom a month ago TODAY and there hasn't been a day that it hasn't hurt.

My best advice is to keep busy. I have two kids that keep me REAL busy.

At this point you are likely confused with the emotional aspect and the only thing that will help is time to sort those emotions out over time.

Udie · « **Reply #9 on:** November 19, 2001, 01:49:00 PM »

Hey guys, thanks for all the support. I don't even know why I posted here. I guess it's because you guys are friends too even if only virtual.

The hard part is being here at work and looking over my shoulder at his empty cube. Last Friday he and I had a really good meeting on our offices CAD standards and today was the day he was going to bring it up in the staff meeting.

Death has been in my life before, but never this close. Anytime I've lost a family member the loss has been tempered by 500 miles distance. I didn't see them everyday so it was easier to get over I guess. I'm left with a HUGE empty feeling here at work. He'd be squeaking at me to get off the net right now

So I think I will...

Also, he loved all the AH pics I'd bring to work. We were going to get around to setting him up to fly, but life was always too busy. Such is life I guess.......

mrfish · « **Reply #10 on:** November 19, 2001, 02:11:00 PM »

"life is like a rodeo: the trick is to ride, and make it to the bell." - fogerty

theres no point to life, no reward for the good or punishment for the wicked and it's gonna be rough, but what else are you going to do with your time here- might as well just keep on trucking.

Animal · « **Reply #11 on:** November 19, 2001, 02:26:00 PM »

that sucks

some might take what i'm about to recomend as insensitive, but when one of my best friends died, a bunch of friends go together and just got plain drunk till blind, lots of songs he loved on the stereo, and lots of laughs and crying and memories, even a few fist fights.
might seem harsh, but it really helped us move on, we said goodbye in our own way, and i'm pretty sure that if his spirit was there, he was having a blast too.

so go ahead if its your kind of thing.
condolesences

Ripsnort · « **Reply #12 on:** November 19, 2001, 02:32:00 PM »

Fist fights?! LOL!

Rude · « **Reply #13 on:** November 19, 2001, 02:52:00 PM »

Sorry Udie.

God say's "it is appointed unto every man to die".

Still it is hard to lose a friend. I hope out of this you can come to trust God with your life...this world offers pain and suffering..it has always been that way.

Take Care.

Otto

popeye · « **Reply #14 on:** November 19, 2001, 03:13:00 PM »

I lost a close friend a few months ago. I still think about her almost every day, but its not so painful now. Time does "heal all wounds".

Losing a friend in the prime of her life has made me more aware of just how short my own life really is. I think of that awareness as a priceless gift from her.

popeye