It is not always nice to your own nationality, but at least the others
will make you laugh...
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH:
>> 1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
>> 2a. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
>> 2b.They pay you back by selling you illegal fireworks and let you blow
>> up small parts of your country.
>> 3. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
>> 4. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen
>> is your capital.....
>> 5. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a
>> national tradition.
>> 6. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
>> 7a. You can legally kill yourself.
>> 7b. You can legally be killed.
>> 8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still
>> you've never seen your neighbours.
>> 9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame
>> the Germans. If you loose your keys, blame the Germans.
>> 10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
>> 1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
>> 2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do in your country.
>> 3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
>> 4. You are either
>> a.like the Dutch, just less efficient. Or
>> b.like the French, just less romantic. Or
>> c.like the Germans.
>> 5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer. Need I
>> say more?
>> 6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and
>> they make fun of you.
>> 7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
>> 8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares.
>> 9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders.
>> 10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
>> 1.
>> 2.
>> 3.
>> 4.
>> 5.
>> 6.
>> 7.
>> 8.
>> 9.
>> 10.
>>
>> OK, give them a second chance:
>> 1. Oktoberfest.
>> 2. Oktoberfest-beer.
>> 3. BMW
>> 4. VW
>> 5. Audi
>> 6. Mercedes
>> 7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that whould put you in jail in
>> any other country of the world.
>> 8. You do not have to learn german as a foreign language.
>> 9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
>> 10.Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
>> 1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
>> 2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.
>> 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
>> 4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
>> 5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel4.
>> 6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
>> 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
>> 8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
>> 9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just sh*t in the street.
>> 10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
>> 1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
>> 2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it
>> 3. You can call Budweiser beer.
>> 4. You can be a crook and still be president.
>> 5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
>> 6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
>> 7. You get to be really obese.
>> 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
>> 9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
>> 10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
>> 10a. When you're not.
>> 10b. At all.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
>> 1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
>> 2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
>> 3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.
>> 4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
>> 5. You can go skiing in your knickers
>> 6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.
>> 7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
>> 8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - its fairly spacious.
>> 9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing
>> polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.
>> 10. You can actually get bored with blondes
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
>> 1. Two World Wars and One World Cup-doo-dah, doo-dah...
>> 2. Proper beer.
>> 3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
>> 4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
>> 5. Union jack underpants.
>> 6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
>> 7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
>> 8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
>> 9. Ditto changing underwear.
>> 10. Beats being Welsh.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
>> 1. You ain't English!
>> 2. You ain't English!
>> 3. You ain't English!
>> 4. You ain't English!
>> 5. You ain't English!
>> 6. You ain't English!
>> 7. You ain't English!
>> 8. You ain't English!
>> 9. You ain't English!
>> 10. You ain't English!
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
>> 1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
>> 2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
>> 3. No need to worry about tax returns.
>> 4. Glorious military history prior to 400 b.c.
>> 5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
>> 6. Political stability.
>> 7. Flexible working hours.
>> 8. Live near the Pope.
>> 9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
>> 10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
>> 1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
>> 2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
>> 3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
>> 4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
>> 5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
>> 6. Honesty.
>> 7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
>> clothes
>> and risk your life in front of bulls.
>> 8. You get to eat bulls' testicles.
>> 9. Gibraltar
>> 10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
>> 1. Chicken Madras
>> 2. Lamb Passanda
>> 3. Onion Bhaji
>> 4. Bombay Potato
>> 5. Chicken Tikka Masala
>> 6. Rogan Josh
>> 7. Popadoms
>> 8. Chicken Dopiaza
>> 9. Meat Boona
>> 10. Kingfisher lager
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
>> 1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
>> 1. Guinness
>> 2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
>> 3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
>> 4. Pubs never close.
>> 5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican
>> Council of
>> 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom
>> on.
>> 6. No one can ever remember the night before.
>> 7. Kill people you don't agree with.
>> 8. Stew
>> 9. More Guinness.
>> 10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the
>> morning
>> after a bout of sectarian violence.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
>> 1. It beats being an American.
>> 2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>> the
>> ground.
>> 3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
>> 4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>> the
>> ground.
>> 5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
>> 6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
>> ratings
>> will rise.
>> 7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
>> the
>> ground.
>> 8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge f**koff shotguns and cover your house
>> in
>> their skins
>> 9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
>> 10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital
>> to the
>> ground.
>>
>> TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
>> 1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar steward that no
>> civilized
>> nation on earth wanted.
>> 2. Fosters Lager
>> 3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000
>> years
>> because you think it belongs to you.
>> 4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
>> 5. Tact and sensitivity.
>> 6. Bondi Beach.
>> 7. Other beaches.
>> 8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
>> 9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.
>> 10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the
>> beach.
>>
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Saw/SaintawKNIGHT'S FINEST FLYING BRICK 
JG2 "Richthofen" "Firepower Mate, that is what separates the men from the boys..."
[This message has been edited by Saintaw (edited 02-24-2000).]
