Actually, only killing the pilot will make them blow up. Apart from that, theyll just keep on "flying" on their preset course. You can actually make a gunnery practice out of that - shoot parts off one by one. Wingtip, wing, elevators, stabs, rudder.... if the plane blows before your down to only a flying fuselage you "lost"
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I agree with Biggles on the Spitfire series. Mk5 for Early War and Mk8 or Mk9 for later war arenas..... they have a good overall performance and are rather forgiving. Same goes for F6F, but that one requires more flap work.
Whats more important than plane choice though is actually sticking with one plane for a while, utill you got a fairly good handle on its abilities and strenghts/weaknesses.
Whats your ingame ID if i may ask?