I wasn't trying to be sarcastic, just making a silly reductio ad absurdum. I don't know about the iPhone anymore, I'm going to wait and let other folks try it out first to see if it's worth it or not. My 'fan boi' status is firmly in check now that the breathless "zomg!" post-announcement hype is over.
Regarding touchscreens, I don't see anything magical needed for it to work. The iPods have gotten pretty good recently in the anti-scratch arena for their screens, and they get man-handled quite a bit. I've had a bunch of Palm devices with touchscreens, and I carried them in my pocket without any trouble. I just don't see this as being a big problem, my concerns are about other areas (locking out external software, what kind of data plans will Cingular require, etc).