Majissue, I know what you are going through… I lost my Mother 3 months ago. Before that it was my Brother and then My Father. I will probably lose another dear one pretty soon…
While no words can fix what you are feeling, I do know that right after the dearest people in my life passed, I could only remember them as they were at the end. I only remembered them as old or ill.
As time goes by, my memories of them changed more frequently to the younger healthier people who made my life what it is.
I hope that you find this blessing, and your memories lean more and more towards the good.
Take care bud!