Thank you all, excellent and thought provoking insights.
Would like to hear more from women too, and more on the following specifics:
1. How long children are expected to be supported, e.g., to age 18 or 21.
2. Whether children are "owed" college or other education or training beyond high school.
3. If children are involved and if alimony is ordered, the reasonableness of my formula proposed in the thread starter. Since no one has commented on its specifics so far, I'm assuming either it's too complicated to bother with or it's okay.
In other words, if child support and/or alimony are involved, and they often are, somewhere there has to be a general starting formula. Mine seems reasonable to me because it would give both husband and wife a sense of logic, fairness, order, and finite duration including an equitable conclusion to work toward, i.e., here's x amount of money based on your life together until separation, and here's how long any divorce payments (alimony) will last.
My motivation stems partially from hearing some women talk about how they didn't expect to get so much alimony, and how they can keep getting it by delaying or never remarrying. And from some men talking about how it's so unfair they have to keep supporting their ex-wife even after the 50-50 assets split and even when she lives with other guys. They're particularly disappointed when they see no end in sight to the alimony.
On the other hand, I know some women who have gotten very little from their former husbands, including one whose new husband let the previous husband off the hook by financing all expenses of her kid with her previous husband and much of her debt (e.g., credit card) incurred with the previous husband. The new husband and her raised that child from 4 years to 20 years with zero financial help from her first husband and practically no contact at all between the kid and his biological father.
I also know some people who have divorced equitably and amicably with no alimony at all (no kids and nearly equal earning capacity).
On a slightly different tack, I know three attractive and nice women who married guys who had young children. After these women helped raise their stepchildren to high school graduation, their husbands divorced them.
I'm assuming that in most divorces, particularly those involving children, alimony WILL be ordered in one form or another, so I'm trying to offer a starting formula that will be the most fair to both the neediest ex-partner and the one who has to help support that ex-partner for awhile, hopefully not to eternity.
This is not just theory. It's what I'll suggest to my contact as he meets with his lawyer to formulate his strategy for his divorce hearing. Naturally he'll keep his mouth shut and listen to his lawyer's spiel first. But then I want him to have the strongest inputs for his own well being and satisfaction.
So these are crucial negotiation points, not just thread what-ifs. Your help is much appreciated.
