Arlo, I understand you believe you are simply being a realist. You say the rules are unenforcible, and that is true.
On the other hand, "rules" of any nature in a game like this are a result of "peer pressure" since there can be no real enforcement. For peer pressure to work, those being "pressured" need to feel like they are in the minority.
As much as I disagree with the smack-talking and obvious double-standards of some individuals, there is certainly a method to the madness. Poke a guy long enough, he might decide to change to better "fit in."
By constantly berating those asking to lift the standard a bit, you are condoning the "lowest behavior" in this or any other game -- the attitude of "I'll do what I want, when I want, and you can't stop me." While the attitude may be technically correct, it makes for a fairly lousy community IMHO. You get poor behavior, such as spying and whatnot, and why shouldn't they? Who cares if the "majority" think it is poor behavior? Arlo and others are saying it is perfectly fine to do what I want when I want, and anyone who says otherwise is a whiner. There is no need for me to change.
I suppose you will say that is exactly as it should be. I respectfully disagree. If the arena you want is one where the lowest common denominator prevails, then by all means keep defending it. If it isn't, then I am not sure why you are working so hard to provide them cover.
You certainly missed the days when the norm was people like Dichodog and Oldman. Few cared who shot who down and under what circumstances. This is because there was a set of agreed upon guidelines, and the community was small enough that 1) most newcomers (myself, for example) adopted them and 2) those that broke them (bad day or what have you) were generally quickly forgiven. As long as the population stays large, it won't get quite to that level again -- but it certainly could be better, if people would let it.