Yes, I am waiting for my joystick. And I have some spare time right now, and little to do (other than studying, which is tedious
)
So here is my understanding of the world in which we live and fight.
History of the World, first edition
The world. What a most astounding place. A very limited set of island in a great sea; home of three nations of people, each with similar technology, but very different philosophies. This document is a look back at history and a short walk through of the three different people on planet Hi'Tekkan.
The planet:
The exact location of Hi'Tekkan is unknown to our scientists at the moment; we do know that we only have one sun and one moon, and that there are lots of blinking lights in the skies that probably were put there to aid us in navigating. As far as the origins of Hi'Tekkan, a small minority feels it was the result of a massive explosion, whirling gas masses, intense gravitational pull and plenty of time. Others, and this is the majority of the inhabitants, believe that The Great Old Ones, also known as the Creators Of Worlds, created Hi'Tekkan after experimenting with good success in other galaxies.
The planet itself consists of a vast sea, where odd creatures roam, snatching unsupecting Hu'Mans who fall from their ships or from the sky. Located somewhere in this sea, there are The Islands, and this is the home of the Hu'Mans. The geography spans from vast grasslands to massive snow clad mountains. There are only so many resources however and with a growing population, it is clear that in the future supporting all Hu'Mans will become increasingly difficult.
The most valuable resource on the planet is a medium sized mammal, affectively known as the S'Heep. It is the source of wool for clothing, meat for food and warmth and company during long lonely nights in the field where sometimes soldiers go weeks without seeing members of the opposite sex. There have always existed rivalry between the people regarding the S'Heep; despite this, the annual S'Heep festival, where amongst other things the most attractive S'Heep is found through voting, takes place without major incidents once every four years.
Religion:
The Gods, led by the almighty Pyro the Decision Maker and HiTech, Master of Physical Laws, are immensely powerful. Aided by The SuperFly, who creates all things visual, and his compatriot NateDog (He Who Makes The SuperFly's Creations Have A Number Of Blades), Yankee, Goddess of Fertility And General Fixing and finally, but not least, Ronni, Goddess of Sanity And Rationality And Other Cool Stuff, created this world with one purpose in mind; the further continuation of the worthiest of the three people. Yes, that was a long sentence.
The people who are deemed most worthy by the Gods shall receive entrance into Pilott's Mekka, where forever they shall fight but never die, and drink ale with the Gods.
All religious people worship the Gods; the priests, with flambouyantly coloured pom poms, do so with more vigour and dedication than their subjects. Those foolish enough to resist the priests soon find themselves burning the the fire of Eternal Flames. Worshipping is conducted by prayers written using tiny physical elements known as Ele'Ktrons; and it is few who can read them. To do so, one must have a religious tool known as the Computta, that with its immense power can create good with no limits, or evil with no borders. Sacrifices, mostly consisting of alcoholic drinks, appear to please the Gods and is thus an instrumental part of the foundation of the main religion. Worshippers, knowing that the Gods sanction alcoholic beverages, can frequently be seen trying to emulate their masters. To the casual observer however, they just appear drunk and dumb. Let it be known: no individual has ever opposed to gods and lived to tell the tale. The ones that do not recognize the existance of the gods are referred to as the Filthy A'Theists and belong to the brotherhood of Evil Atheist Conspiracy;.they are, for good and bad, like roses on a razor wire; few and far between. But even in this crowd, you'll secretly find some who attempt to communicate with The Gods That Don't Exist, Never Have Existed And If I Get Hit By A Lightning Strike, It Wasn't Their Workings. This crowd, much like the Priests Of Hi'Tekkan, are skilled in the use of the Computta.
The people of Hi'Tekkan
As mentioned, there are three races of people on Hi'Tekkan. All share a common history and it was not until recently that irreconcileable differences, assisted by the Gods, led to the Great Disagreement. Thusly, all the races have an almost identical level of technology
Hi'Tekkans are mammals, bipedal carbon based life forms. The attributes that has allowed them to dominate the world are dexterity of extremities combined with a good intellect. So perfect where they created, that their hands pefectly match the controls of various vehicles such as tanks, ships and planes. Wondrous indeed; the Gods did an excellent job. So detailed was this job that they even though of giving the Hu'Mans ears, so that they have something to fasten glasses to!
There are a few basic cultures that unite all races; the A'llieds, who consist of farm boys and girls with very expensive and extremely good toys, the V'Vs which have less toys, but the same background, The Nipponese who pride themselves with having the longest lasting feudal family in the world and finally the Luft'Woffle, that consists of the aristocracy and frequently can be found claiming superiority in breed, skill and intellect. The latter are generally not liked by the rest, but it does not seem to matter since the Luft'Wobbles contempt of all things non Luft'Wobble make them virtually untouchable by critique.
The Great Disagreement was over S'Heep; all races declared them to be excluslively owned by themselves. Quickly, this led to resentment and hostility and within a week (two for the less intelligent of the races), a full blown, three sided war was taking place.
As mentioned, there are three races on Hi'Tekkan. A quick description follows:
The Biscoonians
They sometimes refer to themselves as the Bishops, thinking it is an honourable name. Their adversaries call them Bi'Shits or Bi'Scuits, depending on level of drunkeness.
For a very long time, the Biscoonians lived isolated from the rest of the world in an area of plentiful resources and excellent climate. Therefore, there was no real challenge to them and the need to develop a strong intellect was not paramount; in fact, the most important thing in Biscoonian culture is the RamHead - a contest at which Biscoonians run full speed and try to ram other Biscoonians in the head using their, uhm, head. Natural evolution took over and consequently, the Biscoonians have very powerful thick skulls. Unfortunately, the padding needed drastically limited the space available for the brain to reside in, with some negative results in the cognitive area. Biscoonian language is therefore full of wheezing sounds, and it is rare to find Biscoonian words that aren't single syllables.
Social structure is despotism, with the strongest Biscoonian being the leader. The beauty ideal of the Bisconnians revolve around skull thickness; which unfortunately require beauty contestant to be dead in order fo the judges to measure their skulls properly.
Nevertheless, they have several redeeming qualities; they breed like rabbits, are incredibly persistent and appear to be utterly unaffected by pain. Social interaction is also very uncomplicated and this has lead to high level of group cohesion.
As a fighting force they can be expected to utterly disregard personal safety, taking the philosophy used in RamHead contests with them to the seas, ground and air. Therefore, when the Biscoonians come in great numbers, they are close to unstoppable. They are not considered brave; rather their tiredles lemming like group behavior is attributted to lack of brains.
The Rookmanians
Known as the Rooks internally and Rook'Ies externally, these people partially competed with the last race, the Knightlandians, for resources. Situated a bit further to the south, their skins are darker and for some unknown reason, hair growth is extensive. Most attribute this to too much breeding with S'Heep, even though the Rooks vigorously deny it..
Rook culture has a few quirks: their society is based on personal gains at the expense of others, increasing material wealth and having as large a stock of S'Heep as possible. All this competition has resulted in a race that is shrewd, intelligent and always planning plots and coups. The major evolutional step of the Rooks that have allowed them to become such a powerful force was the advent of Game Theory - they learned that by cooperating and giving up certain personal priviledges, the overall gain could be much greater than what any one individual could achieve.
The rookmainians do not have any games or culture per se, other than general backstabbing and mocking of the less fortunate, and, of course, other races. An universal, if informal, game is the annual Ba'Kstab, which revolves around plots and involves a lot of poisoning and knives in the back. The winner is held in much regards and respect and is considered the leader until the next Ba'Kstab.
In beauty contests, the Rookmanian contestants usually pose with their hands wringed together, eyes narrowed down to a slit and a mocking grin on their face. Sheep exhibiting these traits are considered objects of sexual desire and trade for as much as 30 000 Do'Lars.
In battle, the Rookmanians are as they are in every day life; carefully plotting, they seek out the weak and pound of them with great numbers and efficiency. Anyone caught in a Rooklandian feeding frenzy will soon meet the Gods for their judgement. They're intelligent, cunning and usually only engage when the situation favours them.
The Knightlandians
The knights as they're called (alternatively kniggits, frigids, knits and other names) used to live on the northern hemisphere, neighboring the Rookmanians. Due to the very adverse weather, the Knightlandians were forced from the start to cooperate to a large degree. They're very collective almost to a degree where individualism is supressed and are, due to the nature of their environment, resourceful and intelligent. The cold climate has produced S'Heep with very large amounts of wool, and this has lead to early conflicts with the Rookmanians who were quick to see the advantages of very fluffy S'Heep.
These very fluffy S'Heep threatened group integrity however; it seemed every Knightlandians were obsessed with the little four legged creatures. Interspecial breeding became so widespread that the continuation of the race was at risk. Luckily, the strong feudal state intervened; it laid down a constution mandating every woman, man and child to "at all times wear iron underwear, which are not to be removed for other chores than the expedient expulsion of waste products".
This, in turn, forever changed Knightlandian culture. Because of iron's tendency to rust when exposed to fluids such as urine, bravery is considered the highest virtue. There have been more than one embarrasing moment when a Knightlandian, upon returning from combat, has found that combat-enduced spilling of waste products had resulted in locking of the underwear due to rust. Usually, these combatants are located, paraded through the cities and consequently impaled on large wooden spoons.
The beauty ideal of the Knightlandian consists of a square jaw, short hair and as pale a complexion as possible; with a pale complexion, it is virtually impossible to notice any change of facial colour due to being scared manure-less.
Annual games take place where the Knights insult each other with great words of extreme lengths; offensive poetry is considered an art. Once these have been completed, two fighting Knights repeatedly slap each other with iron gloves until only one remains standing, or crawling.
In battle, the Knightlandians operate as a team. Cowardice is considered a weakness and some clans of the Knightlandians actively seek out the front that is most dangerous, in order to prove themselves to their peers.
They're fierce warriors who sometimes get carried away and are known to go to great lengths insulting their opponents. Unfortunately for the Knightlandians, their opponents usually open fire before th insults are done. The Knightlandians consider such behavior utterly rude.
And now, with the Great Disagreement in place, battle commences. Who the winner will be no one knows except the Gods.
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Baron Claus "StSanta" Von Ribbentroppen
9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
"We are the light at the end of your sorry little tunnel." - A. Eldritch
[This message has been edited by StSanta (edited 01-22-2001).]
