Author Topic: Hangtime report  (Read 407 times)

Offline easymo

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Hangtime report
« on: January 22, 2001, 03:47:00 PM »
  The following is not intended as an indictment of the officer in question. But as a commentary on the sad state of pilot training in the Army Air Corp.  This report was based on after action reports, captured enemy documents, ant the drunken admissions of the subject himself.  In fairness it should be noted that this was Capt. Hangtimes first mission.  Though he does continue the absurd habit of flying with that wrenched creature (the cat).  And there are many who feel that little has changed in the way he performs his dutys.

 On April 3rd 1944, while flying escort for the 223rd bomber group.  Capt. Hangtime became separated from his flight.  In his AAR he reported having become disoriented in a cloud.  Than found himself on a heading that would return him to base.  (While the is some basis for credibility in this matter. Others in his flight have stated that the cloud cover was very light.  And that the clouds themselves were little bigger than the subjects P-51 itself. Rather than call the subjects courage into question, we must assume that this was indeed possible.)

After 13 minutes, proceeding at an altitude of 20,000 feet, the subject heard the unmistakable wap,wap,wap of MG bullets ripping into his plane.  Things began to unravel immediately at this point.  The subject (by his own admission) froze in terror.  Instantly he experienced near total blackout.  Gradually the subject became puzzled by his state.  He was not aware of "pulling" any G,s.  As the smell of tuna filled the cockpit, Capt. Hangtime guessed at what had happened.  The cat apparently had been badly frightened by the bullet hits as well. Feverishly wiping the offending material off of his goggles.  The subject began to curse at his cat.  Which was perched directly in front of him, atop the instrument panel. one of the two trailing FW 190,s fired again.  This brought the subject back to his original state of panic.  The Capt. then firedwalled the throttle, and shoved the stick forward.  Then in the traditional P-51 manner attempted to escape. One of the FW,s tried to follow.  However the sudden maneuver, by the subject, dislodged the cat from its customary perch.  The cats body struck the throttle, cutting it back, then ricochet under the right rudder pedal.  Seeing this, the Capt. proceeded to try and retrieve the frightened creature.  In attempting to do so.  The subject pulled back on the stick, to move it out of the way.  This caused the plane to assume a nose up attitude.  The effect of the cut throttle, and the unexpected maneuver, caused the FW pilot to overshoot his target.  At this point, reaching for his cat, the subject inadvertently banged his forehead on the trigger button of his stick.  This neatly stitched .50 cal ammo along the wingroot of the FW. The wing separated, and the unfortunate aircraft immeatily began to corkscrew towards earth.  Yanking the cat out from under the pedal.  Capt. Hangtime looked back up.  Totally unaware that he had just recorded his first kill.

Once again the Capt. firewalled his craft. He began another dive.  While doing this he began swiveling his head back and forth to ascertain the threat behind him.  The cat which had been pinballing around the inside of the cockpit, finely attached itself to the trailing end of the Capt. flying scarf.   As the subject moved his head back and forth, the cat swinging on the end of the scarf would bang into the sides of thecockpit with an audible thud.  It would let out a screech each time this happened. In his panic, the subject mistook these thuds and screeches as cannon hits, and tearing metal.  So he began to add his screaming to that of the cats.  This cacophony of noise was so loud that it caused the second FW pilot, who would survive the incident, to report that the Americans had added a stukka type siren to there aircraft.  (Many belive this is where the expression "run screaming like a girl" originated).

  Instead of following the P-51 down The FW maintained level flight.  Upon reaching 7000 feet Capt. Hangtime began to feel that he had made good his escape.  This might well have proven to be a mistake.  But, the Capt. luck was to hold.  Feeling a little more relaxed, the subject discarded his soiled flying goggles.  This small act, strangely, would probably save the subjects life. After only a few minutes Capt. hangtime saw that he was approaching the Ogre mountain range.  The 190 was still up there tracking him.  The subject would either have to run back into enemy territory. Or climb.  The subject decided on the latter.  He determined that an HO with the FW, on the way up, would be his safest choice. Why he thought the FW would be willing to give up the E advantage for an HO, only God knows.

  The subject began a zoom climb. Sensing the returning anxiety in his master. The cat suddenly leapt on top the subjects head. it clung there, like a cheap topee, refusing to be budged. It was at this point that the FW pilot made his mistake. He misjudged the climb speed of the P-51, and dove to meet it. Suddenly realizing his mistake, the FW pilot began pulling the nose of his plane back up.  By this time the P-5 had climbed slightly past the FW. Capt. Hangtime rolled into an emmelman, and found himself right on the tail of the climbing FW.  He had achieved an excellent guns solution. Than, the subject squeezed his eyes shut. This was done in preparation for firing his weapons.  (The subject has admitted privately, that he does this habitually. Because the guns make "a really big noise".  The cat apparently decided at this precise moment, that it was unhappy with its hold. It adjusted its grip by sinking its claws into the eyebrows of the subject.  This caused the subject to open his eyes, and actually see the target that he was firing on. The FW sustained heavy damage. As it headed towards earth, the pilot was seen to bail out.

 In conclusion.  The somewhat dubious accomplishments of Capt. Hangtime, point to the need for better training, for new pilots. Or at least a promotion for the cat.


Offline Ping

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Hangtime report
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2001, 04:31:00 PM »
 ROFL
 
I/JG2 Enemy Coast Ahead


Offline Hangtime

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Hangtime report
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2001, 04:31:00 PM »
The cat was promoted to major; the captain was transferred to the bishops, where he was placed in charge of the ready ramp on a tropical backwater island, babysitting the alert P40 cockpits. It was here that the Captain met the monkey..
 


The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline easymo

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Hangtime report
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2001, 05:11:00 PM »
 While we will admit that Hangs cat has met with some success, in this mans Army. He has no West Point background. And is unlikely to become a general grade officer.

Offline Hangtime

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Hangtime report
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2001, 05:24:00 PM »
Much to the relief of the cat.   The monkey, on the other hand made all the way to brigadier, and retired as chief of staff for Curtiss LeMay.

Funny as hell; Easy.. you lose yer joystick too?

<S!>

Hang



[This message has been edited by Hangtime (edited 01-22-2001).]
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.