Author Topic: The OFFICIAL Aces High NFL Football thread...  (Read 574 times)

Offline ZetaNine

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Re: The OFFICIAL Aces High NFL Football thread...
« Reply #30 on: July 17, 2008, 11:32:05 AM »
as usual...jason whitlock hits a home run...




Hey Ted, I'm here to help


Dear Ted Thompson:

Hi, my name is Jason Whitlock. I'm sure you've heard of me. My reputation in football circles is well established.
I'm the guy who told Bill Belichick to stick with Tom Brady over Drew Bledsoe years ago. When Bill Polian was debating Peyton Manning vs. Ryan Leaf, I was the voice on the phone at 2 a.m. the morning of the draft assuring Polian that Manning was the right choice. I told Parcells to take a long look at an undrafted quarterback from Eastern Illinois.


You're in a jam in Green Bay with Brett Favre. You need me. You need my guidance, my expertise. If you're not careful, you're going to continue to mismanage this situation and go down in history as the dumbest general manager in the history of professional sports.

Yeah, the stakes are that high.

This thing with Favre is bigger than football. He's a modern-day Babe Ruth, an American sports icon capable of no wrong, a symbol of American might. You realize when Boston foolishly unloaded The Bambino, it caused the Red Sox to go 486 years without a World Series title?

Do you want to be responsible for the curse of The Mississippi Hickey?

That's what I call Brett, "The Mississippi Hickey." John Madden's lips have been on Brett's bellybutton so long there's a permanent hickey on Brett's right cheek. Greta Van Susteren put one on Brett's left cheek earlier this week with her lust-filled interview.

The point is the media love Brett Favre. You can't win this pissing match. No one is really going to be on your side. They might pretend to be on your side in July and August. But by the time we get to December, when playoff seeds are being decided, their support will be totally dictated by the NFL standings.

It's just not worth the risk.

It doesn't matter that Brett is a little goofy, a whole lot selfish and thinks he knows more about running a football team than you. Get your ego out of this equation. At all times you're supposed to do what's best for your football team in 2008.

You cannot possibly believe Aaron Rodgers gives the Packers a better chance at winning in 2008 than Brett Favre. If you do, you are the dumbest general manager in the history of professional sports. I don't believe you're that stupid.

Brett threw for 4,155 yards and 28 touchdowns last season. He completed a career-high 66.5 percent of his passes and averaged a career-high 7.8 yards per attempt. He led your team to the NFC Championship. He was as good as he's ever been in his career, and the continued maturation of Greg Jennings and the addition of rookie Jordy Nelson are only going to make The Mississippi Hickey even more effective.

 
If Favre bolts, just call Ted Thompson the dumbest GM in the history of sports. (Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images)

You don't discard the Pro Bowl quarterback who came within three points of the Super Bowl just because he's a 38-year-old diva who doesn't want to play football in March.

Here's my solution. Call a press conference immediately — today, if not sooner. Announce that you're a huge Barack Obama supporter, you got swept up in the mania and wanted to do your part to show America how far we've come in terms of racial equality.

Say that you took a dump on Brett Favre to show Ray Lewis that NFL franchises will disrespect any and all of their employees regardless of color.

You remember when Rev. Ray Ray went on national TV and claimed that Brett Favre and Peyton Manning, two of the best quarterbacks in the history of league, would never be treated as poorly as the Titans treated Steve McNair, a three-time Pro Bowler whose career is a shade below Rich Gannon's?

After a 4-12, 16-TD, 11-interception season, the Titans had the audacity to cut ties with and lock out their nine-year starting quarterback from the team's training facilities. Oh, the horror, indignity and racism of it all. A fired employee got escorted out of the building. That never happens.

Well, you can now argue you did Favre much worse. For a decade and a half, the man never missed a game — even when his father passed away.

I know, I know playing through pain, injury and grief for 16 years doesn't compensate for the fact that Favre acts like a spoiled baby when you refuse to acquire a quarterback's best friend, Randy Moss. And I know it's really tough on the franchise when Favre's aching, middle-aged body and mood swings tell him to retire in March and play in July.

Get over it. The great ones are always a pain in the ass.

Seriously, call a press conference today, take the high road by accepting blame for not being more patient with Favre and beg him to return for another season or as many as he wants.

You have him positioned perfectly now. All the pressure will be on Brett this season. He'll need to be disciplined and play at a very high level or he'll take all the heat for putting the Packers in an awful position during the offseason.

That's my advice. Take it or leave it. The last guy not to listen to me was former Kansas City Chiefs head coach John Mackovic when he passed on Dan Marino and took Todd Blackledge in the 1983 draft.

Sincerely,

Jason Whitlock
« Last Edit: July 17, 2008, 11:40:17 AM by ZetaNine »