Just laugh at those that call you a spy. I find it tremendously amusing when people get so involved in their chess piece that a video game starts to take on the appearance(in their little minds anyway) of a real life or death conflict.
The really scary thing is the people that scream the loudest about spies, and spying are the people that are old enough to know better. Sure the squeakers will whine a little bit about it,but the older players are the ones that seem to make the biggest deal about it. Probably the same players that don't see a problem in changing countries so they can take command of a cv so their team mates can sink it.
Just do like Richard Pryor advised Eddie Murphy, tell them to go have a Coke, and a smile, and shut the ---- up!