O'CLUB NEWSHOUR
"Good evening. Big light in sky slated to appear over Wall Street, sonic booms scare minority groups in sector R, and there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic Connecticut.
Those were the headlines, and now for the rumors behind the news..
There's lynch mobs forming up in front of Barney Frank's mansion, while other ranking senate democrats drop out of sight for the holiday break. Sources report that Warren Buffet has hired Blackwater for personal security. Meanwhile, Secretary of the Treasury Paulson has a jet on standby over at Andrews with an open ended flight plan to the Cayman Islands.
In other news, Guillotine stock just went thru the roof..
Stay tuned, film at 11:00"