So my wife made a batch of Ginger Snap cookies. My personal favorite and a cookie my now deceased grandmother made especially for me as a kid.
On of the ingeredients is Molasses. I must have eaten 2 dozen of them last night. Anyway, I was extremely, prolifically gassy all morning. The poop hit the fan right as I was entering my son's school to pick him up. I spent a good 15 minutes in the bathroom right off of the entrance. I exploded noisily and repeatedly. I dunno if anyone heard but I wouldn't be surprised if they did. I'm just glad I wasn't running a marathon while wearing a straw cowboy hat. Some of the damage:
Straw hat reference:
See Rule 7