Back from 2006 or 2007, copy-pasta from text document
Strange dream this morning.
Seems like I was watching a movie. Live on TV and in plain view, there was a genuine 1902 steam locomotive sitting on a bridge. There were rocket pods on the back of the coal tender because what they were going to do was fire it up about 1/2 mile down the highway and off the bridge into the water. The next one to go was a vehicle that looked halfway between the Mach 5 and a 1955 Ford Thunderbird.
They never did show the launching. Suddenly, I was in a vehicle. To the left of me was another old steam engine sitting there. Slowly, it starts to roll south on the tracks and a few seconds later, we are driving north on a county highway. The scene more or less makes you feel you are watching the credits of a movie. The colors of everything is a little grainy and not that bright. Has the feeling of a 1950's American countryside. But, something is wrong. I look at the automobiles parked in the driveways and the occasional junkyard. They are not 50's vehicles; they are mid to late 80's era vehicles. That confuses me, because I thought we were in the 50's, not 80's. We arrive at our destination, a high school. There seems to be an event going on, looks like preparations for a "Cannonball Run" type race. Naturally I want in, but I don’t have a vehicle.
I walk a few blocks and look what I found! It’s an auto garage owned by Vanscrew (Don’t laugh). I know he keeps a Sherman there, so I was going to "borrow" (steal) it. I know where he hides it at in a secret bay deep inside the garage, but its gone. What I do next is walk around until I find him sitting at a desk reading something. I said to him "Hey, get your Sherman!" He looks up and isn’t really that interested, so he goes back to
reading. Then, I say to him "They are spawning and easy! (referring to the Cannonball run type race)" All of a sudden he jumps up with these words...."Lets go!"
EDITORS NOTE - Now it gets weird.
He goes to a place in a wall and pushed a few buttons, a door appears! He takes us on a long and tedious trip of hidden doorways and underground hallways while singing and dancing to the song "Pure Imagination" (sung to the exact word how the original Willy Wonka sung it). He even does a trick by sliding down a pole and going right through the floorboards, then appearing behind another hidden door smiling and singing. The entire
song is sung word for word. When we arrive at his hidden bay where I looked at originally, he says with a startled yell "Its gone!" I already knew this because I went straight here before I went to his office. So much for a secret bay, eh? While thinking of what to do next, all of a sudden it came to me. I say out loud "Why don’t we just take my Tigers?" We walk a block and there they are, three brand new Tiger tanks. (We are in the late 80's, don’t ask how I got Tigers)
I climb into my Tiger and get it started up. Everything checks out fine so I move myself into the turrent and sit at the gunner's position. Wouldn’t you know it, I can drive my tank while sitting in the turrent. Headset is put on and do a radio check. Vans and one of my squaddies (unknown who that was) all check out good. Aw crap, the race has started. Since we can only go 25 mph, the smart thing to do is to take shortcuts through the town and pick off the cars one by one.
I am puttering through a middleclass neighborhood along a sharp curve enjoying the sights. Everyone has such a nice house and nice yards. I think to myself about how I wish I had a nice house and a nice yard. As the road straightened I shift into 3rd and then make my way to 5th. Leaving the residential neighborhood, the surrounding turn into a business district. Suddenly...ZOOM! One of the racers flies by me. Turning 90 degrees to the right into the intersection, I pull into pursuit. They seem to be only driving about 20-25 mph, so surprisingly I catch up to them and pass this right up. For a brief second, I think about how can a Tiger pass up a contestant in the race, but it quickly leaves my mind as I see another racer. I get into the sights of my turrent and check my loadout. Hmmm....92 HE rounds. Push the button on my turrent (The firing mechanism has the exact look and feel of my X-52 stick...weird!) and check my AP rounds. Reading says zero. Thinking its a mistake, I flip from AP to HE and back to AP. Still zero. "Aw crap, I brought only HE rounds" was the though that went through my mind. Anyways, I got that vehicle back into my sights and gave it a quick burst with my MG. Most hit the vehicle which totally destroyed it, but I accidentally gave the bank to the left of it a few bullet holes in the brickwork as I had aimed too far to the left at first.
Still puttering along, I find a big target driving down the road. I see Minion (from twisted metal game series) and in front as guard was Vanscrew's Sherman that someone had stolen before I had the chance to. I call on squad vox that I found his Sherman and that should I take it out. He comes back and says for me to kill it and that he is OTW to my position. MY squaddie calls back that he is coming also. I know I can’t do much with HE rounds, so I give it a try anyway. When they are crossing a bridge in front of me (they are at a 1 o'clock position in front of me with me tailing them), I fire my first shot. It misses the Sherman about 4 feet to the right and hits a building, making a loud explosion and small fireball. DOH! The Sherman isn’t phased, it keeps on moving. Minion being him turns his turrent around and catches a few trees on fire with his flamethrower in his turrent. My second shot hits him in the rear, appearing to do no damage.
I never got to see what happened next since I woke up. I know I didn’t die, I just happened to wake up early since I am always up at 6:15 in the morning. Now I am wide awake and can’t finish it.
The moral of the story? Don’t eat pizza and Mozzarella garlic cheese bread right before you go to sleep.
