The best cure for "wife ack" is to deploy chaff: $...$$....$....$$$.....$ .....$$$.....$ ....$$
Used to watch black sheep followed up by 12oclock high.
Wow, you guys need help.
Oh wow. All I ever see on the History Channel in the afternoon is 'Ice Road Truckers' or 'MASH'. The latter is fine but really... truckers? Not that historical.
The STORY??? Oh please, BBBS has some beautiful planes, but the whole thing was an ego boost for that little guy, Robert Conrad. He was fresh off the success of "Wild Wild West" and played the macho man's man to the hilt, but in real life he's about 5'6 and only THINKS he's a bad ass. He was always in somebody's face, and usually it was the flunkies on the set who couldn't say anything in rebuttal after he fried and threatened them.Seriously, Robert Conrad was an amazinhunk to work with. If you did a close-up he had to stand on a lift and get the camera angle just right so he appears taller. Also in fight scenes he never pulled any punches, so the stunt men hated him too. I watch the show because it brings back many fond memories, but without getting into the specifics of how I know Bob Conrad you can all take it from me, the guy is a jerk.
I was Bob Conrad's personal gaffer on BBBS...until I was wrongfully terminated after one year. Check out "Big Bob" the next time you see him in a jump suit and you'll notice he seems to be rather large in the crotch area. Can you say padding? That's right, two pairs of socks stuffed into his underwear give him that manly look. It was one of my jobs to get the socks, and one time I got a pair of wool socks instead of cotton and Bob had a bad reaction to the wool and broke out into a rash over his entire crotch area. He was so pissed he made me stand at attention while he kicked me in the balls several times. Once he threw a drink glass at me because it was too big and made his hand look small. I had to get five stitches in my forehead from that little tantrum. We had to use scaled-down EVERYTHING on that show to make up for Bob's small stature- pencils, books, jeeps, .50 cals...even the F4s are 3/4 size. He made me follow him around the set with a wooden box he used to stand on to fondle all the female extras who worked on the show. They were all disgusted by him, but it was written into their contracts that Bob could fondle them whenever he wanted. I would stand and wait until he was done and stepped off the box, then I would pick it up and follow him to the next poor girl. Bob slapped me once for bringing him coffee without enough brandy in it. He was usually obnoxious by eight AM, drunk by 10:30 and passed out by noon. We'd take a three hour break while Bob slept it off and resume shooting in the late afternoon. We tried to schedule all his action shots between eight and ten while he was in his obnoxious stage. All the more sedate and serious scenes were filmed after he woke up from his "power nap." We avoided all airplane scenes between eleven to noon because it was so hard on us to lift him in and out of the F-4 when he was drunk.Do you remember that late 1970s show "Battle Of The Network Stars" where they had tug of wars and races and crap like that? Remember when Bob challanged Gabe Kaplan to a race of about 110 yards to settle a relay race dispute, and Gabe Kaplan smoked him by 15 yards? Man, Bob went freaky after that humiliation. If anybody even mentioned it he'd sunday punch them. He got even bigger lifts for his shoes and a bigger box to stand on. He began stuffing an extra pair of socks in his shorts and his girl fondling and drinking increased to new heights. In spite of his verbal and physical abuse I stuck it out for a year until Bob saw a candid picture of me standing next to him on the set, holding his wooden box. Bob stared silently at the picture for a long moment, then he asked me to put his box down. I did, Bob stepped on it so as to be eye level with me, and he slapped me. "Get out!" he screamed. "You're fired! You're too damn tall!" Then he yelled at Security to throw me off the set.So I was wrongfuly terminated from my job for being too tall. I could have sued but that would have ruined any future employment opportunities for me in Hollywood so I kept my mouth shut.
