Lilsquid, now would be an appropriate time to humbly apologize for lying.
Then actually write your own ACM manual. Here let me help you out, and it won't be plagiarism because I'm giving the title to you for free, but do not list me as a co-author:
"I suck and this is how I fly"
I am torn between laughing (because this is such and incredibly stupid post) and crying (because I will have to trust your generation to run this country when I am to old to fight back).
I hearby nominate this as "Best Fail Of the Year"