While I don't entirely disagree Von, the problem arises that you're basing the statement on facts of the world. There in the problem lies. Players are either in the "I like the game to be a game in most ever aspect" camp, or the "Realism is how I explain everything until it doesn't suit my flight style." Either everything is on the line of realistic (radar, maps, AA, Puffy, every possible load out, tigers that have correct armor etc etc) or it's a compromise. Should it be the latter, then the sound argument from others is valid. If it is the former, as you say.. then there are major changes that must be implemented for the argument of "this is how it was" to be a valid argument. Now, if HTC would state: hey, we're going to fix everything so it is how it was during WWII, then the argument will carry more weight, though I highly doubt one life, sitting in POW camps etc would be popular. Either it's as close to realistic as possible, or concession must be made from both sides.
For the record, I don't mind the new sounds, but I dislike how truly loud they are and here's why: I can't hear myself think. I have a headset as you suggested, but I have squad mates who are impossible to hear unless volume is cranked. If I turn down volume, I really, really can't hear anything going on in my environment and while I did turn down the effect volume under voice, I have yet to figure out how one would fight in an area where range is yammering away, there by muting the sounds in the fight?
It will come down to people making Sound Packs with ultra low, or deleted sounds (my sounds are all renamed so I have no personal engine sound, remember, personal sounds are allowed) but I also hate having no engine of my own. Or it will be HTC that allows the movement of groups of sounds. Others have also pointed out, as I'm sure you know, the human ear can hear much more than we currently can distinguish from the Miles.
I just think both camps needs to be a little more empathetic toward the other on these matters. BOTH 
Oh, and miniature ponies aren't exactly hung amazingly! lol J/K
I have it set where sounds "cut out" when someone speaks on vox. I have no problem with it. How about being able to mute range vox as an option to eliminate the yammering?
Thinking that some folks aren't going to change the sounds to gain an advantage does not even merit discussion. It is going to happen, period. Should we make it easy for everyone to be able to do it? I have owned a DJ business, worked in a recording studio and have done live sound reinforcement for the better part of my life. I either have, or have access to, just about every audio manipulation software under the sun. Must I edit every sound individually to level the playing field and negate the advantage that these players create for themselves? It would be as easy as breathing. It is also not worth my time.
Obviously, having an adjustment slider for every individual sound is ludicrous. So then, which sounds shall be given an adjustment slider? Which ones are important enough to make the list? Who will make those determinations? Do we want new players to have the ability to "game the game" right off the bat? It begs so many questions.
I would say that a fast and dirty way to give more immersion, etc, one could simply put a sub-woofer either on the floor under ones chair, directly mounted under ones chair (best scenario as it would give the most bump for the least volume and disturb SWMBO the least)or in the corner of the room (facing into the corner). Most of the "immersive" sound frequencies fall into the bass/sub-bass range which are, for the most part, non-directional and are not so much "heard" as they are "felt". Think movie theater.
As for the x.x discreet channel surround sound junkies, there is really only one "proper" way to achieve the sound imaging that you are looking for and this is by proper speaker placement. Period. You cannot defy the laws of physics. Regardless of the marketing claims, you will never achieve a "true" surround sound with "surround sound headphones" until the headphones can relay to the game exactly where your head is in relation to computer monitor. Gaming is dynamic, as your head moves from side to side, or closer/farther away from the screen, etc as you scan the sky or are involved in a fight and the headphones move with you, UN-like watching a movie with the same headphones where your head would be in a more static position. Even then it is not as "true" of a surround sound environment as traditional speakers would be because you simply cannot recreate the stereo and distance imaging of satellite speakers which are located in the proper place in the room and effects of the sound traveling through the air around you. All these headphones are doing is "fooling" your brain (albeit slightly) into the illusion of distance and space by using delay, reverb, etc.. Reverb has been used for ages now to create "space" or the illusion of being at a performance in a larger room, such as a performance hall, from a dry recording. A perfect example of how good stereo imaging is any Beatles tune produced by George Martin. Listen to a song of your choosing three separate times: Once with only the left speaker, once with only the right and once with both. You will hear three distinctly different songs.
The bottom line is that if one is using external speakers, someone in the house that is not involved in the game will be disturbed unless you are in a totally different and enclosed room.
I personally, find nothing grossly out of proportion with the levels of the sounds effects in what would be a "normal " environment. Tanks are loud. The tracks are noisy. Firing the main gun is near deafening. It is not a Cadillac by any means. One would rarely, if ever, hear another tank creeping around whilst ones own tank had it's engine running.
Aircraft would be quite comparable. Can anyone here tell me that they really believe that the sounds of hydraulic or or electric flaps/gear motors, etc would be anything more that a whisper above the roar of a Junkers Jumo or a pair of P/W Twin Wasps? And the CV guns? My grandfather has told me stories about how the 5" guns on his tanker would break the mirrors in the head from time to time when fired.
I just can't agree that there is a need to be able to control sounds on an individual basis by the user. It only leads to gaming the game. Not by all, of course, but it happens. As long as users are able to change the files used for sounds there will be folks that will use this to gain an advantage on other players.
If it is too loud, turn it down. If it is too soft, turn it up.
One nice feature though, would be a dynamic compression control. One where a threshold level could be set so ones ears do not get blown out by abrupt and disproportionally loud sounds such as when the first 8" shot of a CV battle from complete silence .