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Author Topic: Norris'ism  (Read 6571 times)

Offline MachFly

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2010, 05:51:12 PM »
Some people wear Darth Vader costume for Halloween, Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris costume.
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flew Spitfires, Hurricanes, P-51s, P-47s, and F-4s

Offline IrishOne

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2010, 06:08:20 PM »
chuck norris is the first person to ever punch someone in the back of the face.

chuck norris once visited the virgin islands.  now they just call them the islands.
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Offline Becinhu

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2010, 06:39:27 PM »
Chuck Norris carries a third fist in his beard.
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Offline jimson

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2010, 08:45:39 PM »
When all else fails, Chuck Norris doesn't.
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Offline MachFly

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2010, 09:32:28 PM »
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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"Now, if I had to make the choice of one fighter aircraft above all the others...it would be, without any doubt, the world's greatest propeller driven flying machine - the magnificent and immortal Spitfire."
Lt. Col. William R. Dunn
flew Spitfires, Hurricanes, P-51s, P-47s, and F-4s

Offline redwing7

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2010, 09:59:10 PM »
Anyone else remember one of the early episodes of Conan O'brian with Chuck Norris as a guest?

Conan asked Chuck if he could really kick like 20 peoples azzes at once like in his movies, Chuck said no nobody can.
Conan says; so if me and the audiance rush you we could kick your azz?
Chuck says, sure (then he got a little smirk and said) but I sure feel sorry for the first 3 or 4 of ya!! :rofl
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Offline Blooz

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #21 on: July 26, 2010, 10:00:22 PM »
Chuck Norris can get blood out of a stone.


Step on a crack and Chuck Norris breaks your back!
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Offline fudgums

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #22 on: July 26, 2010, 10:09:36 PM »
Chuck Norris is 1/16th Cherokee Indian, not because of genetics, because he ate a frieken indian.

Chuck Norris says no to drugs, if he said yes, it would collapse Columbia's infrastructure.

Helen Kellers favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once pulled a hair from his beard, only to skewer a mans heart out with it.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity- twice.
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Offline fbWldcat

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2010, 10:59:04 PM »
Contrary to popular belief, first there was Chuck Norris, then there was nothing.

Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with his own reflection, needless to say, he won.

Chuck Norris only allows the Dos Equis man to survive because of two reasons.
1. He loves beer
and
2. The foreigners need a version of their own Chuck Norris.
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Quote from: Shuffler on April 07, 2011, 10:37:33 AM
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Offline grizz441

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #24 on: July 27, 2010, 11:34:06 AM »
Chuck Norris is currently sueing NBC, claiming that "Law" and "Order", are trademarked names of his left and right legs.
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Offline BnZs

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #25 on: July 27, 2010, 12:38:11 PM »
Chuck Norris will HO you. From BEHIND.

Chuck Norris will pick you. While *he* is AFK.

Chuck Norris once landed 27 kills flying a D3A1. In FSX!
« Last Edit: July 27, 2010, 12:44:37 PM by BnZs »
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Offline 68ZooM

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #26 on: July 27, 2010, 01:01:17 PM »
There is no theory of evolution, it's only the animals Chuck Norris let live
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Offline fbWldcat

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #27 on: July 27, 2010, 02:24:34 PM »
Chuck Norris is the cause of more deaths than lightning, sharks, airline accidents, Africanized honeybee attacks and bear attacks combined.
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Quote from: Shuffler on April 07, 2011, 10:37:33 AM
Landing is overrated.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I: I took the one less traveled by." - Robert Frost
"Uncommon valor was a common virtue." <S>

Offline hymijr

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #28 on: July 27, 2010, 02:58:17 PM »
most kids can pee their name into the snow, chuck can pee his into concrete.
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Offline morfiend

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Re: Norris'ism
« Reply #29 on: July 27, 2010, 04:39:53 PM »
Chuck Norris decieded which came first,the chicken or the egg,and he's not telling!
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