AHBolt,
Many will say that there are no set rules, other than what HTC has programed or stated. This is true. So, it actually boils down to players self regulating their own behavior. The thing about your, "if you do this to me, expect it to come back and bite you" statement is that it is hard to tell the ID of a particular enemy.
I have tried to deliver some payback before, and on many occasions I was wrong about the ID of the player. Just saying that the best option may be to stick to your style of playing and don't dip to the level of others.
I am so guilty, so please don't think that I am preaching. It is something that I think that everyone in every arena could work on. So just don't over analyze it too much. Come in and fly. If it is fun for you, that is great. If it is not so much fun, I hope that you give it another try and maybe have a better experience.