Kids

[dedalos]

t confirms I'm wasting my time discussing this. As I commented to
dedalos earlier this is a no-win debate with some and so feel free
have the last word.

I agree.  But I also find it interesting to hear what others think the "truth" or the "right" way of doing this is.  I find it funny how sure they are about something only because it was done to them or because they were told it was the right way.

As I said earlier, you can get a kid to believe that a fat guy travels around the world and comes down a chimney that you may not even have.  A lot easier to convince them that you hit them because you love them.  What kid would ever consider that it was from anger, incompetence as a parent, not knowing what to do etc.  After all, it is their parents we are talking about.  There is no way they would even consider the possibility because as far as they know, they turned out fine and every kid that did not get hit has become nothing in life or is in jail.

Really, their main argument here is, how could it be wrong if my parents did it to me? 

[CAP1]

what the both of you are missing(or not) is that you're trying to tell others how to raise their kids.

 those that have no problem with spanking a kid are simply saying to do what you think is right for your kid.....even if it has to include spanking them. you guys are trying to convince everyone that spanking a kid is wrong, no matter what.

 i deserved every one i got. so did my brother. we both realize that. it was what was necessary for us in our situation. not for everybody.

 we don't go around sticking our nose in other peoples business when their kids are running around being disrespectful, but if someones kid gets a quick slap because he was being disrespectful.....you guys feel that it is your business. i would think you've got enough of your own business to mind, without minding other peoples.......

[moot]

Hitting kids is teaching them (by example) that you "give up" reasoning with them.  Whether they understand the "reality" of violence or not, whether you and your kid are fortunate to have the right chemistry that your meaning (being fed up or "ran out of options") is clear.

[dedalos]

what the both of you are missing(or not) is that you're trying to tell others how to raise their kids.

 those that have no problem with spanking a kid are simply saying to do what you think is right for your kid.....even if it has to include spanking them. you guys are trying to convince everyone that spanking a kid is wrong, no matter what.

 i deserved every one i got. so did my brother. we both realize that. it was what was necessary for us in our situation. not for everybody.

 we don't go around sticking our nose in other peoples business when their kids are running around being disrespectful, but if someones kid gets a quick slap because he was being disrespectful.....you guys feel that it is your business. i would think you've got enough of your own business to mind, without minding other peoples.......

Thank you for proving what I was saying.  Here is what you are missing.  I am not telling you how to raise your kid.  Even if I did you would still do what you know is right.  What I am telling you is that hitting them is wrong.  You still have not given me any reason why you think it is right.  It is not a way of raising a kid.  It is a way for you to get your anger and frustration out.

Please answer this for me.  Why do you think it is right to hit a kid but wrong to hit an adult?  If deserving it is your reason, can I hit your kids too (if they deserve it?)  No, right?  It is a property thing.  My kids I do what I want.  So, based on that, if you knew that your neighbor was raising his kids to be thieves, would you stick your nose in their business or you would you say it is OK since it is their kids and they will raise them the way they want.

I think I told you before.  You hit them, I see you, you made it my business.  You may not like it, but there are laws against hitting even things you consider your property.  And since you will try to confuse things by going back to spanking, I am not talking about a tap on the butt.  But all these cowardly actions take place where no one else can see them, right?

[CAP1]

Thank you for proving what I was saying.  Here is what you are missing.  I am not telling you how to raise your kid.  Even if I did you would still do what you know is right.  What I am telling you is that hitting them is wrong.  You still have not given me any reason why you think it is right.  It is not a way of raising a kid.  It is a way for you to get your anger and frustration out.

Please answer this for me.  Why do you think it is right to hit a kid but wrong to hit an adult?  If deserving it is your reason, can I hit your kids too (if they deserve it?)  No, right?  It is a property thing.  My kids I do what I want.  So, based on that, if you knew that your neighbor was raising his kids to be thieves, would you stick your nose in their business or you would you say it is OK since it is their kids and they will raise them the way they want.

I think I told you before.  You hit them, I see you, you made it my business.  You may not like it, but there are laws against hitting even things you consider your property.  And since you will try to confuse things by going back to spanking, I am not talking about a tap on the butt.  But all these cowardly actions take place where no one else can see them, right?

mom never hesitated to whack us in public if we mouthed off to her. but then back then, people knew how to mind their own business.

 spanking/hitting was last resort. sometimes the shock is necessary.

 johnny!! watch your language!! 

 yea ok mom.....ya dumb #$%%.

 ok...i'm going to tell you 1 more time.......don't you speak to me like that.

 ok..whatever.(rolling eyes with this)

 that's it!! when we get home, you go to your room, and no tv(that's all we had back in the early 70's)

 few days later.....see above. 'cept this time palm met cheek. suddenly, the backtalk stopped. when we got home, we still got "the talk" as to why it was wrong, and why the slap in the face was necessary.

 like i said.....in some cases it may be necessary. others not so much.

 as for the neighbors kids? i honestly don't know what i'd do in that specific situation you gave.

 as for doing that in front of you? it's only your business if you make it so. but then that is todays society too......mind everyone elses business, and never mind their own.....

[Anaxogoras]

what the both of you are missing(or not) is that you're trying to tell others how to raise their kids.

 those that have no problem with spanking a kid are simply saying to do what you think is right for your kid.....even if it has to include spanking them. you guys are trying to convince everyone that spanking a kid is wrong, no matter what.

 i deserved every one i got. so did my brother. we both realize that. it was what was necessary for us in our situation. not for everybody.

You can't suggest in the same breath that spankings are optional, but that they were necessary for you and your brother.  You add "in our situation. not for everybody."  So which is it?  If everyone were in your situation, would it be necessary to spank?

[dedalos]

as for doing that in front of you? it's only your business if you make it so. but then that is todays society too......mind everyone elses business, and never mind their own.....

  Stupid today's society wont let me hit a child in public.  You are right, we are going down hill.  Head for the mountains!!!

Seriously, though, you would not expect me to sit there and do nothing if you did what you described your grandpa did, would you?  Would you do nothing seeing a kid getting knocked down or out?  Or are we entering another little special situation in your rules that makes it OK at home but not in public?

BTW, I still don;t have an answer on why it is ok to hit a kid but not an adult.  I think I know the answer but I'd like to hear from you since you think it is OK to do so.

[CAP1]

You can't suggest in the same breath that spankings are optional, but that they were necessary for you and your brother.  You add "in our situation. not for everybody."  So which is it?  If everyone were in your situation, would it be necessary to spank?

it is exactly what i typed. re-read it.  for me it was. i was not the picture perfect kid. not even close. it is what worked with me. it's not necessarily the same thing that'll work with other kids. since it isn't necessarily going to be needed, it is now optional. you already know that though. i'm thinking youi guys are just trolling at this point.

[lulu]

How much problems like dyslexia influence kids existence?


We must take care about this also.


 

[Dimebag]

How much problems like dyslexia influence kids existence?


We must take care about this also.


 

lu lu lu, I have some apples   

[dedalos]

i was not the picture perfect kid. not even close. it is what worked with me. .

I don't understand.  If it worked why weren't you close to a perfect kid?  If it worked, why did it have to be repeated?  You are saying that what worked for you did not really work, but you refuse to consider something else because the only thing that worked for you was the thing that did not work.

Don't you think it is funny you have not answered my question yet? 

[CAP1]

I don't understand.  If it worked why weren't you close to a perfect kid?  If it worked, why did it have to be repeated?  You are saying that what worked for you did not really work, but you refuse to consider something else because the only thing that worked for you was the thing that did not work.

Don't you think it is funny you have not answered my question yet? 

stubborn. and i do not refuse to consider somethuing else. did you not read the post about where i never once in 10 years slapped/hit/spanked my step daughter?

[moot]

it is exactly what i typed. re-read it.  for me it was. i was not the picture perfect kid. not even close. it is what worked with me. it's not necessarily the same thing that'll work with other kids. since it isn't necessarily going to be needed, it is now optional. you already know that though. i'm thinking youi guys are just trolling at this point.

What led you to be not picture perfect as a kid?  You must account for everything.  Abusing a kid in its earliest days of infancy will probably lead to some temper trouble later on... and then it's easier to justify coercive correction of his behavior.

[CAP1]

What led you to be not picture perfect as a kid?  You must account for everything.  Abusing a kid in its earliest days of infancy will probably lead to some temper trouble later on... and then it's easier to justify coercive correction of his behavior.

i do not recall being slapped any younger than 10.

 c;mon moot!!!! you can throw better bait out than that!! 

[moot]

Not in these parts.

What I was getting at wasn't you in particular but you as an example of kids' learning in general.