No! No! You've got it all wrong. You'll have to do those other treatments every few months. The real solution will hurt, but it's well worth it.
You will need:
A scalpel
Hair net
Gauze
Sterile paper
Rubbing alcohol
Scrubs
Sterile needle and sutures
Surgical gloves
Local anaesthetic
Hypodermic syringes
A high pain tolerance
Begin by washing your hands thoroughly, and then donning the mask, hair net, scrubs, and lastly, the gloves. Next, clean the cuticle and surrounding area with the rubbing alcohol and gauze. Inject the local anaesthetic into a vein that will lead into the toes. Working quickly, make your first incision behind the cuticle, and then around it. Get the scalpel under the cuticle, and lever it out. This will prevent regrowth of the the toenail. Repeat the process for each toe. Pull out the toenails, and clean everything with more gauze and rubbing alcohol. With that done, sew up the incisions with the sterile needle and sutures. You have now completely and permanantly removed your toenails, but bear in mind that you may suffer from infections and inflammation due to the missing protection of the nail bed. In addition, you may need to take additional pain killers after the procedure.
-Penguin
